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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30067083">Of Ancient Heroes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bubblegum_Poppy/pseuds/Bubblegum_Poppy'>Bubblegum_Poppy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bittersweet Ending, Character Development, DadSchlatt, Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Gen, I took it upon myself to set things right, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Manipulation, Near Death Experiences, Platonic Relationships, President Toby Smith | Tubbo, Realistic Minecraft, References to Ancient Greek Religion &amp; Lore, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Soft Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade Hears Voices (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Unreliable Narrator, Villain Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, and on character development, i saw the canon and decided there was not enough focus on relationships</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:14:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>25,437</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30067083</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bubblegum_Poppy/pseuds/Bubblegum_Poppy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Techno hadn't finished the story, but it didn't matter. I had heard it so many times that I already knew how it ended.  </p>
<p>Lycomedes would cast Theseus of the cliff and Theseus would plummet into the sea much like his father had all those years ago.</p>
<p>"Heroes don't get happy endings," I remembered Techno saying the very first time he had told the story. </p>
<p>"It's a good thing we're not heroes then," I had said and we had laughed. </p>
<p>I looked at Tommy soundly sleeping. Now, I wasn't laughing anymore.</p>
<p>Or</p>
<p>I am a greek mythology nerd and I decided to rewrite the Dream SMP lore ongoing from Tommy’s exile to better fit into that narrative. </p>
<p>Written in first person for plot reasons. Ghostbur is the narrator but he’s not the main character.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clay | Dream &amp; Wilbur Soot &amp; TommyInnit, Clay | Dream/Floris | Fundy, Jschlatt &amp; Toby Smith | Tubbo, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Ranboo &amp; Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade, Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot &amp; TommyInnit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. A Story of Exile</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I started writing this when Tommy had just teamed up with Technoblade and decided to plot out how I wanted it to go... it all went to shit instead. I'm writing this to cope. </p>
<p>Will update twice a week!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He stood in the water with his trousers cuffed up to his knees. He stared longingly at the waves in the distance. How they folded over themselves to be quicker and bigger than the last wave. A game he had played since he had welcomed the earth as a screaming, snotty baby. A game in which he always had to be better than before and better than everyone around him.</p><p>“I’m still better,” he’d said to me. “Everyone else has just gotten worse.”</p><p>I hadn’t said anything, I’d finally seen land, just a dot in the distance, but land nonetheless. We had been out on sea for hours now and I was afraid that I was going to melt from all the tears that Tommy was trying to repress if I stayed inside this boat any longer.</p><p>His face held sorrow in a way I didn’t understand. I’d offered him blue, to make all that sad go away, but he had refused it all four times I had offered. “Exile,” Tubbo had said and his voice wavered when he said it. “Exile,” Dream had said and he sounded happy about something. Personally, I preferred the word vacation. </p><p>Tommy splashed his arm through the water, making his own wave. “Look Ghostbur!” I pretended he said. We were in Logstedshire, the home I had made for him. I knew he didn’t like it, I saw it in the way his head hung and how he would tilt it in the direction of where L’Manberg would be. I was a bit hurt by that, but I just had to bring my blue smeared fingers to my mouth and then it was okay. </p><p>Tommy slightly turned towards me and his shirt caught the wind. It was torn and dirty, his face was filled with dirt smears and the sea reflected in his grey washed eyes. He was holding the compass I had given him. Your Tubbo said the words engraved round the sides of it. I made it so that it would always point to wherever Tubbo was, so they would always be together in some way. </p><p>“Thank you,” Tommy had said, and it was the first time I had seen him smile in a while. </p><p>I knew for a fact that Tubbo hadn’t let his compass go since I gave it to him. The knowledge would have made my heart start to beat faster, if I still had a heart to beat. </p><p>Tommy sloshed his way over to the shore. I pulled my knees to my chest so the water wouldn’t melt my skin. He looked behind me, and then at me. He proceeded to rub his eyes.</p><p>“When did you get here?” He accused me, but there was no fire behind his voice. I wondered who had taken it from him. </p><p>“I don’t know,” I said. “I have been here for a while.”</p><p>“Where have you been? You promised me you’d stay with me.” I had, when we were in the boat I had leaned over and whispered the promise to him. I had hoped it would still the tears starting to form behind his eyes, but it had had the opposite effect. “You promised! Do you not know how lonely it gets?” He stepped on shore, the sand sticking between his toes. “The only person to consistently visit me has been Dream and whenever anyone else does, it’s just out of pity.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” I offered. “But I didn’t leave you.”</p><p>That was true, I hadn’t. I just couldn’t always be seen, I had to find out a few times because I forgot the first time I did. The memory had turned a vibrant blue and I could only make out my own cries and Phil’s stoic face. </p><p>He opened his mouth to say something but he was interrupted by heavy footsteps walking our way. I turned their direction and I saw Dream, his hood was pulled far over his head so I could only see the underside of his mask. “Hello Tommy,” he said and he nodded his head slightly towards me. “And Ghostbur.”</p><p>“Dream!” Tommy ran to the grass, where Dream stood. He winced when he stood on what I assumed was a thistle. He pulled out a sword and some bread and gave it to Dream. “I don’t have anything else on me.” Tommy shrugged and let the compass slide into his back pocket. </p><p>Dream looked away from the compass. He had clearly noticed it, but he didn’t mention it. “Okay.” He put his hand on Tommy’s shoulder and squeezed until Tommy relaxed into the touch. “I thought we could try and make the nether path more accessible today.”</p><p>“Does it matter?” Tommy let his head hang. “No one visits me anyway, remember the beach party?”</p><p>“They would have if you were more inviting.” Dream bowed down to wipe some of the dirt from Tommy’s shirt. He looked to the water Tommy had been standing in and then to me. “Probably,” he added.</p><p>“But-”</p><p>“Come on, it wouldn’t hurt to try.”</p><p>Tommy muttered something and brushed off Dream’s hand. He started walking with big strides, I hurried so I could walk next to him but he didn’t notice me. We walked past Mexican Dream’s house. He wasn’t there. I wondered what had happened to him. I blinked a few times when I saw the world had turned red, until I realized we had walked through the nether portal. Dream materialized behind us, clapping his hand down on Tommy again, this time on his upper back. </p><p>Tommy hissed from the hot ground under his bare feet and he hopped around weirdly. Dream pushed him towards the bridge they had made before and handed him some cobblestone. Tommy dutifully started placing it in neat rows around the bridge all while chatting with Dream. He laughed now and again, I’d known Tommy for his entire lifespan and I’d thought I had known everything about him there was to know, but I couldn’t tell if his laughs were forced or genuine. </p><p>“So why don’t you show your face, like, ever? You ugly or something?”</p><p>“Just a preference,” Dream said, carefully walking past Tommy. “I’m not ugly.”</p><p>“Oh?” Tommy raised his eyebrows. “Would you call yourself hot then?”</p><p>Dream laughed, high-pitched and breathy. “Yeah.” He brought his hand to his chest. “I’d say I have killer good looks.”</p><p>“I have never met a guy more arrogant than you.”</p><p>“You ever look in the mirror?” Dream playfully shoved Tommy.</p><p>“Yes, every day. And I see myself and I think; wow that is a big man.” He laughed, in that weird strained way again. “How about you?”</p><p>“I can’t,” Dream said, he started walking away. “‘Cause I’d never be able to do it again.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Dream was already gone. I didn’t know where he had gone to, neither did Tommy because he let go of the cobblestone and went to sit on the edge of the bridge. His feet dangled above the pools of lava that lighted up the nether and he rocked them back and forth, as if he was playing footsie with an invisible person. I kicked my feet towards his. I couldn’t feel them but I closed my eyes and pretended we were sat at the dinner table, Techno next to me, engaging with Phil in some interesting conversation and Tommy acting like he understood what was going on. </p><p>Sadly, this wasn’t the dinner table. We had all grown and none of us still were the person we had been then. I also hadn’t eaten dinner since the night I had washed my hands of gunpowder and decided tomorrow was going to be the day. </p><p>Tommy stared into the lava. His lip pushed forward and quivered. I saw him move a foot forwards, blisters had already started forming on it from the heat. </p><p>A breath ran through him and he was shaking. </p><p>“Every day is the same here, isn't it?” I heard Tommy say, he wasn’t moving his mouth, he must have spoken the words another time. I was only recalling them now. “I wake up and I’m even more tired than before I go to sleep. I sit waiting for someone to come, but they never do.” He was laughing in this memory, his eyes looked even grayer than they did now. “From here I can see Logstedshire and how Dream blew it up. It’s like he wants to remind me of L’Manberg. I don’t even have that left, so why not?” He took a deep breath, then he was silent.</p><p> “Why wouldn’t I jump?” I heard two Tommys say, the memory left. It had a few scratches but it still faded out slowly, it was like a music disc that had been played one too many times. Now, I saw Tommy closing his eyes and placing his hands next to his thighs. </p><p>“If you do it, imagine it’s the drop of a roller coaster. Imagine you’re safe. Imagine you’re having fun,” I whispered, but I had no idea where the words were coming from. It didn’t matter, he couldn’t hear me. </p><p>He was pulled backwards, suddenly, and he now stood face to face with Dream. So close that his face almost disappeared under the hood too. Dream spoke with a low voice, directly from his chest.</p><p>“It’s not your time to die yet Tommy.”</p><p> “It’s never my time to die.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A Story of Friends and Foes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ghostbur reminisces about his youth and meets Friend. Featuring Technoblade's execution.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pools of water had formed on the grassy hills and reflected the sun with tiny rainbows. I wasn’t wearing shoes and I felt the grass tickle under my feet while the sun shone on my back, making the warmth stick to my skin inside the coat that Dad had insisted I wore.</p><p>I heard Tommy complaining in my ear and I wondered if Techno and I had been like that too once. Although I didn't think we could ever have been that annoying. He always did that, complaining, for the first hour or so, but in the end he would enjoy himself the most out of all of us.</p><p>Tommy was playing with sticks. He was trying to get Techno to join him in a sword fight with the brash confidence that only children could possess. He walked backwards and stumbled over a box with a boy in it. The boy's eyes were red and puffy, his clothes wrinkled. His hair was disheveled and filled with plants.</p><p>"Who are you?!" Tommy said, in that accusing voice that he had practically perfected by now. </p><p>"I'm Tubbo," the boy in the box said. He looked hesitant to answer and he formed his name as if it felt strange in his mouth. "I went to sleep at home and-" he stared at the ground. "I-" </p><p>Dad knelt down next to Tubbo. "Hey love," he said sweetly. "Let's get you somewhere safe and warm." He extended his hand. </p><p>I stared at him with wide eyes. Dad had a way of taking care of every vulnerable being in proximity, but it was always surprising to see it in action. Sometimes even saddening, I wished he was that tender with me, but only sometimes. </p><p>Tubbo carefully took dad’s hand, his hand shook, even as Dad stroked it. “But,” Tubbo stuttered. “Are you sure?”</p><p>Dad nodded and pulled Tubbo up. I saw Techno eyeing him warily, I laughed; only orphans were left in boxes on the side of the road. Dad shot me a dirty look and I shamefully glued my eyes to my feet.</p><p>“Do you want to play sword fight with me?” Tommy asked, excited to realize he could finally have a play buddy. Techno and I weren’t allowed to play with swords after a certain incident on a certain morning. Tommy didn’t know that, which was why he always kept asking.</p><p>Tubbo shyly nodded and snatched the sword out of Tommy’s hand. </p><p>“Hey!” Yelled Tommy, but he was smiling. </p><p>Tubbo went with us. Tommy took a liking to Tubbo almost immediately. The two boys would almost never be found separately. It became, Tommy and Tubbo, all said in one breath. They were Best Friends.</p><p>Best Friends were a lot like blue, when you're sad, they would wipe your tears away and make you smile again. </p><p>I looked at Tommy and Tubbo playing together. They were smiling brightly and I could feel the love almost static around me. I reached for it as if it was tangible.</p><p>It felt blue, washed away, like the sea did with the words I would write in the sand when I was younger. I blinked, two times exactly, I saw the snow I had stuck my hand into and the cottage that stood upon it.</p><p>The door opened and Techno peered outside. His hair was tousled and thrown over his shoulder and he held three strength potions in his left hand. In the right he held his sword, pointed forwards to stab someone who wasn’t there. </p><p>“Hi Techno! How it’s going man!” I called.</p><p>“Ghostbur this is a terrible time,” he grunted and he went back inside, when he reappeared he was holding more potions and he suddenly had shoes on. “I’m a little bit busy right now Wilbur.” His nose scrunched up when he said my name.</p><p>I winced, I wish he wouldn’t call me that. “Can I help?”</p><p>“Depends,” he said. “How good are you with violence?”</p><p>“Have some blue. Please, calm yourself.” I walked towards him and stepped into his house. He sounded stressed, I didn’t want him to be stressed.</p><p>He whirled around and his cape floated behind him. “Not right now, Ghostbur.” He kneeled by a chest and started rummaging through the contents. “Not right now.”</p><p>“I was just in the area you know? I thought I’d stop by. I was walking, like we used to do when we were younger and everything. Dream sent me on a walk, so I was walking but you see it snows here and I do melt from water and snow is basically frozen water, so-”</p><p>“That’s lovely Ghostbur, but you need to get out of here,” Techno said, with the hint of a warning behind his voice. “I don’t know what they’ll do with you if they see you here.”</p><p>In the corner of my eye I saw a speck of blue. I gasped, it was a blue sheep. “Look Techno!” I pointed. “It’s a sign.” </p><p>“Okay.” Techno took a deep breath. “I need you to get that sheep and get as far away from here as possible. Understood?”</p><p>I beamed at him and immediately took off towards the sheep. Once I got close to him, he tilted his head at me and I reached out to pat him. He nuzzled my hand and gave it some small licks. I cooed at him and he bleated back at me. I looked at Techno’s house behind me and I saw four people donned in full netherite running towards it. I quickly got the sheep on a lead and creeped behind a tree.</p><p>“You need to pay for your war crimes Techno.” I heard Tubbo yell, his voice echoed through the treetops. I couldn’t make out any of the other conversations. </p><p>I pulled the sheep close to me and he leaned against me. I scratched him between his ears. He seemed like a friend. When I dared look around the tree I saw them, it seemed like they had his horse and he sat on a tree stump, unclasping his armour. I ducked behind the tree again, but the sheep pulled at my hand. I followed him and found myself walking to L’Manberg in an unexplainable short time.</p><p>Phil stood on the balcony of his house and I couldn’t tell if he was purposely not looking at me or if he couldn’t see me. Loud footsteps came closer at a rapid pace. They had brought Techno to L’Manberg too. I stroked the sheep, he was so smart, I really ought to give him a name. </p><p>“They actually got you!” Phil yelled, he sounded surprised. </p><p>I was surprised too. Techno had to be the most experienced fighter I had ever had the pleasure of meeting. He could defeat more people in an hour than I had in an entire lifetime. </p><p>Now, he was stuck in a cage with his knees tucked under him in an angle that must have been uncomfortable. His head hung to the ground, weirdly enough, there wasn’t a scratch on his body. He wasn’t even paying attention to the chaos going on around him, a fifth person was placing TNT all over the place. I didn’t want to look at that, so I pulled the sheep over to Techno.</p><p>“Look Techno!” I pointed. “I’ve named him Friend.”</p><p>“That’s fantastic Ghostbur,” he said. “I’m about to die Ghostbur.”</p><p>I looked to the sky, at the anvil falling down from such a height that it would surely kill Techno. I didn’t want to watch. I already had the blue at my lips, for when I wanted to forget how it felt to have his blood spatter over my face. I didn’t want to know if someone would give their life for him, Phil might, he could have done it for me but I knew he never would, but for Techno…</p><p>I was bracing myself for the sound of the anvil crushing his bones, but I only heard a dull clang. My head shot up, Techno jumped out of the cage, floating through the air as if it was effortless.</p><p>They raced after him, Tubbo was right on his heels, but he was pushed away by Dream, who seemingly came out of nowhere. He hid Techno away and fought off his attackers. I wasn’t sure if my eyes were working correctly.</p><p>“You owe me,” Dream yelled over his shoulder, towards the wall where he must have shielded Techno with. He plunged himself into battle.</p><p>Techno appeared later, with a bloody pickaxe slung over his shoulder and his horse Carl on a leash, much like I had Friend with me. His shoulders slumped forward and he climbed into a boat, strapping Carl carefully in behind him.</p><p>“The only thing that works in this world.” I heard Techno mutter, I wasn’t sure if he was speaking to me or his voices. “Is that you treat others how they treat you. Those that treated me with kindness, I will repay that kindness tenfold. Those that treat me with injustice-” He cursed under his breath. “I shall repay that injustice. They’ll get what’s coming for them. All of them.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading!</p><p>The first four chapters of this work are still going to be canon compliant with a few changes, just to establish where we're standing with the characters. From chapter 5 onwards it's all going to be my own plotline!</p><p>Roast me if you see a typo. If you want leave a Kudo or a Comment!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A Story of Logstedshire and its Ruins</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tubbo goes to visit Logstedshire and doesn't know how to cope with what he finds. Ghostbur does his best to comfort him.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I still remember when this stream (and the one of Tommy almost jumping off the cadillac) had just happened and I'd missed it. So when I woke up and saw spoilers, I completely misinterpreted them and though Tommy had died and had been reincarnated as a raccoon.....</p><p>Anyways roast me in the comments if you see a typo and leave a Kudo if you enjoyed!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In theory, Logstedshire wasn’t that far. In practice, the walk seemed like an eternity. I watched as Tubbo repeatedly decided to stop and think if he should visit or not. For me a journey went by quicker when I had a lot to think about, but I supposed this was different. The journey would have become harder the longer Tubbo had put it off. </p><p>The nether portal to Logstedshire swirled around Tubbo. “Let’s go see Tommy, we haven’t seen him in a while,” he muttered to himself. As purple began to ebb out of his vision, he took in his surroundings. He was visibly confused and I was too, I remembered building that campsite for Tommy but it seemed like he had blown it to smithereens. </p><p>“What the hell,” said Tubbo as he saw the blown up campsite. Behind the trees surrounding the campsite, at the place Tommy had built his screaming station, a pillar towered out its ways above the trees. The blood would have ebbed out of my face if I wasn’t already dead. “No,” Tubbo whispered and if I wasn’t a ghost I wouldn't have heard it. This huge pillar with no possible way down could only mean two things, either Tommy had decided that dirt was the new cobblestone or he had killed himself. And dirt was a very ugly block to make a tower from… </p><p>Tubbo made his way to the base of the pillar and clung himself to it. “Tommy,” he said. “Tommy…. TOMMY!” In his frantic movements he had smeared dirt all over his shirt.</p><p>“Tubbo.” </p><p>The voice echoed through the now empty woods of Logstedshire. It took me a moment to realize it was my voice that had spoken. </p><p>“Tommy?” He sounded so hopeful I couldn’t help but feel a bit bad for speaking.</p><p>“No,” I cleared my throat and stepped through the leaves to reveal myself. “It’s me. Ghostbur.” </p><p>Tubbo looked me up and down and searched my eyes. “Is he-” Tubbo choked on his words.</p><p>“I don’t know”</p><p>Tubbo brought his wrist op to his mouth and clicked a button on his watch. “Ranboo, I need you to get a searching troop to Logstedshire.” He sounded weirdly grounded. Then he walked to the sign. How ironic was it that the sign Screaming Station was still intact, considering everything that was destroyed. I couldn’t tell if Tubbo was laughing or crying.</p><p>“TOMMY!” Tubbo sobbed. “TOMMY, I’M SORRY.” He fell to his knees. “I’m so sorry, Tommy,” he whispered. Then he went to sit at the edge of the station and slid himself down into the water. “Help me search, Ghostbur…. please.”</p><p>“I can’t go into the water because it will make me melt,” I giggled. “But I can search on land for you!” </p><p>Tubbo took off his suit jacket and threw it on the edge before he waded further into the water. The water almost came to his chest. “He must be here somewhere,” he muttered.</p><p>That’s how I left him. I found my way through the trees, searching for Tommy or any trace of him. He was nowhere to be found. In the distance, I could still hear Tubbo crying for Tommy and I heard the footsteps of other people approaching Logstedshire. </p><p>It became evening in a period of time that was seemingly a second. As I went back to the shore I could see Tubbo. His dress shirt had become see through and sandy and it was impossible to make out if his face was wet from the sea or from his tears. </p><p>“I was found in a box. Right?” He suddenly spoke. He sounded hoarse, presumably from screaming too much.</p><p>“Yes,” I paused but he looked at me like he was expecting me to tell him more. Everything I could tell him were things I knew he had heard before, somewhere in the back of my mind supplied. I coughed. “It was a very pretty box I remember. Tommy made sure it was covered in drawings.”</p><p>“And I didn’t want to go without the box for at least a few months… That's what Phil told me.”</p><p>“Yes.” </p><p>“If I was welcomed in a pretty box, we need to give Tommy a prettier box to say his goodbyes. He deserves the prettiest box… “</p><p>“Don’t you mean a casket?” I said.</p><p>“A casket.” He repeated. Then he quietly chuckled, almost as if he wasn’t sure if it was allowed. “Words are hard.”</p><p>“They sure are.” I reached for his hand but just passed through it. He winced from the cold but didn’t pull away. I left my hand inside his, hoping it felt the same to him as it did to me. A phantom touch as a comfort. “We can make him the prettiest casket that has ever graced the earth.”</p><p>“The prettiest casket for the prettiest boy.”</p><p>The wind whispered to me about the snow. Like a sweet lullaby that Phil would have sung to me if I was still alive and if he was still proud of me. Memories that had turned blue when I looked back at them. “The snow is singing to me.” I said to him. “I have to go.”</p><p>“Oh.” His eyes were glued to the sea as he swallowed. “Okay.” </p><p>“Goodbye,” I whispered. I resisted the urge to pat his hair. </p><p>“Bye,” he gave a weak wave. “Ghostbur.”</p><p>I moved to walk away until I felt someone tugging me back.</p><p>“Wait!” Tubbo said. “You’re not Alivebur… Does that mean that there is a GhostTommy?”</p><p>I shook my head. “I would have felt him by now.”</p><p>Tubbo sputtered. “That is not fair!” He looked angry. “Why do you, why does SCHLATT, get to become a ghost? But not Tommy?” </p><p>I shrugged.</p><p>“At least Tommy was a good person!” He yelled. “So; WHY?”</p><p>I sharply looked up at him. “Was- was I not a good person?” I could feel tears welling up in my eyes.</p><p>“Wait, no,” he said. “I didn’t mean it like that.” </p><p>I spared him a reply. The lullaby had become stronger and was almost painful in my ears, so I followed it into the snow. Followed the snow until I felt like the sun, braving through the flakes. Tubbo would rather be comforted by a good person anyway.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A Story of Theseus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Techno and Tommy meet up, retold. This time with family feels.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is basically a summary of the first few Techno and Tommy in the Artic Empire. It also happens to be the chapter I got the fic summary from.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Let me tell you a story. The story of Theseus."</p><p>I had heard this story before. Countless times actually. Theseus, the Athenian hero with the tragic destiny. Theseus, the nickname Techno had reserved for Tommy in his cutest baby voice.</p><p>"Why Tommy?"  I had asked once.</p><p>Techno had laughed at me. "The downfall of every great hero is their hubris." </p><p>Tommy was travelling into the snow. Away from Dream, away from his involuntary exile. I knew that in any minute now, he would stumble upon Techno's house. </p><p>Technoblade was the oldest brother. By 3 minutes, but nonetheless the oldest. And even though Tommy hated him right now, for a reason I couldn't seem to recall, I knew they would be safe with each other.</p><p>RaccoonInnit, he called himself. As he made DNRET, a little house underneath a house. </p><p>It was only a matter of time before Techno found him. It hadn't even been a day. </p><p>And of course they fought, but they rekindled even quicker. No, Tommy in exile. No, Techno in retirement. Yes, Tommy and Techno against the world. </p><p>"Tommy," it was a soft whisper. "I want to show you something." </p><p>Tommy looked at Techno. Admirably. Fearfully. "Okay"</p><p>"That I haven't shown anyone. Not even Phil. I don' t want him to see this side of me." He sighed. " 'Cause the truth is, I have been working on just, just a little hobby Tommy." He placed down the stone button and adjusted his cape. "I need you to stand right there."</p><p>"Will I die?"</p><p>"No, you will not, what was the point of that? I would have stabbed you a long time ago." </p><p>"Well, I guess," Tommy mumbled. </p><p>"You see this wall?" Techno's voice shook a little as he spoke. </p><p>"Well, I guess," Tommy repeated.</p><p>Techno took a deep breath and pushed the button. The sound of pistons was deafening and they opened up the wall. </p><p>Witherheads, everywhere. Guess old Techno had decidedly not been withering away in retirement. The Withers… I knew it had happened but I also knew that I hadn't been present at the incident. The Betrayal of the Blade. </p><p>"WHAT THE SHIT," Tommy yelled. He had to have been fearful and impressed at the same time. Which was a pretty good summary of Techno's character, I supposed.</p><p>"Welcome home! Theseus!" Techno exclaimed and opened his arms. He then bursted out in uncontrollable laughter.</p><p>"What the FUCK." Tommy took a closer look at the items this special war room contained. </p><p>"What do you say Tommy?" Techno asked. "You and I. Form an alliance?" </p><p>He put Tommy on the spot. His eyes were widening as he was still taking in the room around him. His eyes were caught on the set of netherite armour. Then, he looked Techno dead in the eye and said: "Deal."</p><p>Techno softly chuckled. "I knew you'd cave Theseus." He rapped his knuckles over Tommy's scalp.</p><p>Tommy pushed him off almost immediately. "Shove off… I still don't like you."</p><p>Techno looked wildly around the room and I swear he made eye contact with me for a second. Eventually he stilled and stated: "Dream is coming."</p><p>I could see Tommy's breaths quickening. "What? Now?" He bent down to take off his shoes and then seemed to change his mind. Leaving his shoelaces untied he went to stand next to Techno. "How do you know that?"</p><p>"The voices." Of course, the voices. Since he was a child Techno had been suffering from voices in his head who would tell him what to do or give him feedback on what he already did. Sometimes they were really scary and weird, but most of the time they would whisper things to Techno that he definitely shouldn't know. "They're close to screaming at me." </p><p>"What?" Tommy buried his head in his arms. "What do we do? I really want to speak to him again but I think he's angry."</p><p>"First, take a deep breath. Dream can not know you're here." Techno pushed a bottle into Tommy's hands. "Second, take of your armour-" He stopped mid sentence and stared at the wall in a slight state of shock. "Sorry, put your armour in your inventory and take this invisibility potion."</p><p>Techno grabbed Tommy's shoulders and led him out of the room with the Withers. He kept looking around, presumably trying to locate Dream. "We discussed this right? Get in the box, Tommy." Techno closed the doors behind them. "I'll handle this." </p><p>Tommy let out a breath that sounded suspiciously like "Okay."</p><p>I couldn't say I fully understood what was going on. For the most part, Dream was a nice bloke. And I could understand why Techno hated him, but I thought he and Tommy were friends now. </p><p>Speaking of Tommy, he was cramped up in the box with his legs folded under him. He had hollowed up his cheek to stop himself from breathing. His eyes were fixed on the gap of the box and he was looking intently at Dream.</p><p>When Techno and Dream went downstairs he climbed out of the box and went to sit at the upside of the stairs. Then he loudly ate a golden apple and choked on it while swallowing, which followed into an extreme coughing fit. Which Techno tried to cover up by coughing very loudly himself. </p><p>Tommy stared, unmovable, at the wall like a deer caught in headlights, then he hurried and folded himself back into his box. Right on time, because Dream and Techno were coming back upstairs. </p><p>"I'll be going then," Dream said. "But if you hear anything from Tommy, please tell me. I dread to think what could happen if he's on his own…" He gave Techno a quick salute. "Goodluck with your to do list." I was quite impressed he managed to put such an emphasis on the 'your' that he said it in italics.</p><p>As soon as Dream closed the door behind him Techno let go of his composure. Hunching his back in a way that made him several inches smaller.</p><p>"He's gone," Techno said.</p><p>"Gone?" Tommy whispered but he didn't get out of the box.</p><p>Techno nodded, realised Tommy couldn't see him and then spoke. "Yeah he’s gone." He stood next to the window and looked at Dream's figure that got smaller the further he went in the distance. "I almost can't see him anymore, you're safe."</p><p>Suddenly Tommy got up from the box and moved to the door. "I need to talk to him." He grabbed at the doorknob.</p><p>"You need to what?" Techno threw himself in front of the door. "I just hid you so we could avoid the whole talking bit." </p><p>"Get away!" Tommy yelled. He tried to duck under Techno's arm but Techno caught his head in his armpit. Tommy then started to push against Techno's side. "He said he's worried about me! He'll be happy to see me!"</p><p>Techno turned Tommy around him in a way that he couldn't be hit anymore. "Tommy… He'll kill you." </p><p>"He would never." </p><p>"Tommy." </p><p>Tommy squared up his jaw and moved his arms in front of him. "I'll fight you, bitch." He rummaged around in his inventory for his golden apples and quickly ate two of them.</p><p>Techno immediately went for his knees and floored him, so he was lying on top of him. "No you won't," he softly panted. "Also, stop eating my golden apples. You don't need them. What were you thinking before, eating one with Dream so close?" </p><p>"I need to have regeneration," Tommy sputtered. "When I get attacked." He then tried to get out under Techno but only succeeded in wriggling over the floor. </p><p>"Oh Tommy," Techno sighed. "No one is going to attack you. Not while I'm here." </p><p>"You don't know that." Suddenly tears started springing at Tommy's eyes. "Maybe you'll even attack me." He gave Techno's body a weak push. "I might fuck up and deserve to get attacked, like what happened with Dream…"</p><p>Techno carefully moved off Tommy to give him more room to breathe. "I'm not letting that green bastard near you ever again," he snarled. </p><p>Tommy started trembling. "I'm sorry," he stuttered.</p><p>"Theseus. Breathe with me." </p><p>"In and out?"</p><p>"In and out." </p><p>Tommy clawed himself to Techno's shirt to hoist himself up. "Are you sure I'm safe?"</p><p>Techno chuckled. "No one will hurt you with Technoblade, PvP God, at your side." He pushed Tommy's hand off his chest awkwardly. "And you're not half bad yourself… for a small child." </p><p>"I'm 6'3."</p><p>"That's just a large baby," Techno exclaimed. "Come on." He stood up and brushed off his legs. "Let's get you to bed." </p><p>I watched with a small smile on my face how Techno tenderly took care of Tommy. He got him clean clothes and led him to bed. He kept on whispering to him. A string of variations on "You're safe. You're okay. No one's going to hurt you." He carefully tucked him in. "Sleep well Theseus."</p><p>Tommy grabbed at Techno's cape before he could even try to walk away. He pulled the cape up to his face. "Mm' cold," he mumbled. </p><p>I saw Techno trying to suppress a smile and then deciding to sit in the ground next to Tommy's bed. He looked at Tommy until his breathing evened out and he was sure that he was asleep. It was an adorable sight, Techno's glasses had slid down his nose and his hair was disheveled from the roughhouse before. One of his hands was clasped in Tommy's and the other hovered mid air. He then reached to carefully comb his fingers to Tommy's hair.</p><p>"Hello Technoblade!" </p><p>Techno whipped around and quickly moved his fingers from Tommy's hair. "Sssst!" He scrunched up his nose and looked at the place where my torso was now appearing. "So you are here."</p><p>"I haven't left," I mumbled. </p><p>"They’ve been telling me," Techno said. "They’ve also been saying that true family wouldn’t betray each other." </p><p>"We're still a family," I said. A pregnant pause took up my air. "Can I braid your hair?" I breathed out. "Like old times." </p><p>"Like old times," Techno repeated, which I took as a yes.  So I nestled my hands in his air and started finger combing the knots. "I would say we're a dysfunctional family. A war criminal, a ghost and-" he sighed softly. "And Theseus." </p><p>I didn't comment on how lovingly he had said the nickname. "Don't forget the dad that plays favourites."</p><p>"He doesn't pick favourites." </p><p>"You only say that because you're the favourite." </p><p>"I will neither confirm nor deny that statement," Techno deadpanned. He tilted his head backwards. I took the opportunity to part his hair. </p><p>"Can you tell me a story?" I asked. I started the braid leaving two locks out to frame his face. "Tell me Theseus' story." </p><p>Techno adjusted his glasses. "Yeah?" His eyes twinkled slightly while he lazingly grinned.</p><p>"You can start where we last left off." I knew the last time must have been a while ago. We hadn't spoken amicably in years. I wasn't sure if I knew where we last left off.</p><p>"Theseus and Pirithous were trapped on the Chairs of Forgetfulness  in the underworld after accepting Hades' dinner. They would remain there for years. It wasn't until Herakles travelled into the underworld for his task to retrieve the three headed dog Kerberos and stumbled upon the duo. He freed Theseus but didn't manage to save his brother. Legend says Pirithous is still strapped to the Chair of Forgetfulness." Techno shot a loaded look my way.</p><p> "Theseus returned back to Athens only to find that Menestheus had declared himself king. Theseus was forced to flee from his home, if he were to come back he would have been killed." Techno resorted to silence so he could look at Tommy. </p><p>"Theseus fled to Scyros where he was met with great hospitality from their king: Lycomedes," Techno combed his fingers through Tommy's hair and then carefully stroked his cheek. </p><p>"Theseus and Lycomedes climbed to the cliff. Theseus was planning on gathering an army and winning Athens back." </p><p>Then, Techno left what I thought was a dramatic pause. After a while I heard a soft humming sound which turned into snores. Slowly, Techno buckled over so his head was laying on Tommy's chest. Their hands still clasped together and his other hand still in Tommy's hair. His glasses had been pushed off and were dangling off one ear. </p><p>Techno hadn't finished the story, but it didn't matter. I had heard it so many times that I already knew how it ended.  </p><p>Lycomedes would cast Theseus of the cliff and Theseus would plummet into the sea much like his father had all those years ago.</p><p>"Heroes don't get happy endings," I remembered Techno saying the very first time he had told the story. </p><p>"It's a good thing we're not heroes then," I had said and we had laughed. </p><p>I looked at Tommy soundly sleeping. Now, I wasn't laughing anymore.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. A Story of Going to the Store to get Milk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>He never asked to have a child. He's loved him through everything anyways, but he's not sure if he can do it anymore.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So maybe the narrator of this chapter isn't Ghostbur.... that's all I'm saying for now. I understand this chapter might be confusing, don't worry it will make more sense as the story goes on!</p><p>This chapter was written by my lovely Beta reader (who sadly doesn't have an Ao3 account) and edited by me. She also helped me a lot with plotting out this fic and was the one who sparked the idea to even write a fic! She's awesome so please tell her what you thought in the comments!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It started with a song. I was in the club on a night out with the lads from the college. I had drunk maybe one shot too many, even though I had only drank one, I didn’t have such a high alcohol tolerance back then. The speakers boomed so loudly and I was grinning at some girl who kept twirling her long brown hair around her finger. Her lips were coated with a light pink lipstick and the song had started to sound like "kissing a stranger would be a good idea". She threw her arms around me and I’d heard my mates cheer me on around me. I still heard the song play faintly when she pushed me against the wall in the dimly lit bathrooms of the club and it sounded like "this was the best idea ever". </p><p>There was a song playing when I stood in the dressing room a few weeks later, a cheery tune designed to make you want to spend more. I pulled a pair of slim black dress pants up and realized that I needed to size up even more. Besides new clothes, I also bought a pregnancy test. I still had the song from that day stuck in my head when I turned the pregnancy test towards me and I saw two lines staring at me.</p><p>He’d been a risk and could have jeopardized all of my success in the business world, but when he was finally born and pressed up against my chest. I thought, maybe, that it had all been worth it. The radio jingled at me and I pulled a nurse on her dress.</p><p>“What song is this?”</p><p>“It’s a lullaby.” She smiled at me, or at him, I wasn’t sure. “I could write it down for you?”</p><p>I nodded. </p><p>She scribbled on her notebook and ripped off a piece of paper. Pushed the paper in my hands and left the room not even a second later. I looked at the words written on it in big blocky letters. I sang along, as quietly as I could, even though there was nobody in the room. I wasn’t one of those saps.</p><p>“You and me share growing memories<br/>
Of a field of blooming flowers that attract the bees<br/>
Summer day, wind blows through the trees<br/>
I love you, you’re all I need”</p><p>He hadn’t cried yet, something that the nurses had fretted so much about that they wouldn’t hand him to me for the first hour. Then, he was whining along with the words I sang. My chest had felt like it could  have burst open.</p><p>Now, several years later, I was sat in my office and I was the youngest CEO in the field. An important email was about to be sent while I was humming the lullaby under my breath. I heard a knock on the door.</p><p>‘’Dad?’’</p><p>I sighed and turned around to face the small boy. ‘’I’m working right now so hurry.’’ I couldn’t help but be irritated by him. </p><p>‘’Well I was wondering if I could-’’ He stopped talking and I saw him staring through the room. His eyes looked blank as they pinned on the bottles perched on the closet. He walked towards it and picked up a bottle of what used to be wine. ‘’Dad?” He muttered, in a small voice that barely reached my ears. “Are you drinking?’’ </p><p>‘’Oh prime… It’s nothing. Just put it down. I’m trying to work. Say what you want and get out. </p><p>‘’Dad. Are. You. Drinking?’’ He repeated, louder and clearer this time.</p><p>"Yeah,” I scoffed.  “I am. So?"</p><p>"Well it kinda really scares me when you're drunk." He fiddled with his thumbs and looked at the floor.</p><p>"Then you’re a right scaredy cat," I drawled, dragging out the s. "If you get scared of your own father." </p><p>"Shouldn't a dad help me?" He wrapped his arms around himself and went to stand on the balls of his feet. "When I'm scared," he softly added. </p><p>"In the real world, no one is going to coddle you because you're a crybaby.’’ I slammed my hand on the table. ‘’How are you ever gonna be a man if you're scared of everything!"</p><p>‘’Fine!’’ He muttered and ran out of the room, slamming the door on his way out. My desk shook slightly from the impact. I took a look at the papers sprawled across my desk, shook my head and looked at the door he had left from. On the ground he had left a black and yellow slipper. I grabbed it and threw open the door, following him with angry, loud steps.</p><p> ‘’Come back!” I yelled. “We weren't done talking yet!’’ I could hear him cry from his room.</p><p>‘I’m sorry, I wasn't- I didn’t m-mean to say that,’’ he stuttered. He looked away and I could hear his voice shake. I couldn’t care less. My head was still fuzzy from all the drinks I had today, I had stopped counting after the third one at ten in the morning, and adrenaline soared through my body.</p><p>‘’What do you think sorry means?’’ I started calmly. I didn’t allow him to break eye contact. </p><p>‘’Uhm… I- well I don't know exactly.’’</p><p>‘’Sorry, means nothing. When you say sorry for the things you fucked up, you have to mean it. You can't say sorry and decide to fuck up again moments after that. We’ve had this conversation before, haven't we?’’</p><p>‘’Yes, I’m s-’’</p><p>‘’NO!’’ My hand flashed through my vision. I heard a loud slap and the slipper flew out my hand. I didn’t allow myself to look at him before I started speaking again. ‘’Don't say sorry, when you don't know what it means.” I gave him a push against his shoulder and he quickly took steps back until he was pressed against the wall. His lip was quivering. “Do you know what happens to people who say sorry and get forgiven? They get soft. They don't learn the hard truth of this world. They will fuck up over and over again. Sorry will get you nowhere.’’ </p><p>I heard his sobbing slowly stop. He tried to stop at least. We stared at each other for a few more minutes. The only thing you could hear was breathing. Loud, heavy and stuttering breaths.</p><p>‘’I think I understand.’’ Was all he could say before I saw tears flowing down his face again. I could almost feel the heat radiating from his cheeks.</p><p>‘’You better do. After I told you thousands of times. Prime almighty.’’ I felt my temples throb. I was done with him.. He always cried for hours on end, I couldn’t even get him to eat whenever he got like this. Hot tears soaking his shirt and snot smeared all over his face. I had to let him tire himself out, cry until his eyes got so heavy he couldn’t do anything but close them and sleep. </p><p> I walked out of his room and the second I left I heard his cries again. Those specific ones, that made me want to punch something. I wanted to tell him, no, order him to stop, but I was afraid my temper couldn’t face being in the same room as him right now. I pulled out my office chair and sat down and tried to drown out the noises by tedious paperwork.</p><p>After a few hours I saw the sun setting down, it was a summer day. I must have worked through the entire evening, when I looked down at the work on my desk it felt like I had done nothing at all. I could still hear his crying in my head, but in reality I knew it had stopped.</p><p> I walked up to his room with soft steps. There he was. Asleep, with a bee plushie clutched in his arms. I loved him. He was my son, but he wasn't meant to be. I couldn’t take care of him. I had to let go. I got my coat and my scarf. I picked up the boy from his bed. I held him in my arms. </p><p>I slowly walked out of the room and opened the front door. I didn’t know where I could go. The only thing I knew was that I had to go as far away as possible. I looked at him.  What an absolute nuisance, it was a shame he was so cute.</p><p>I heard the river soaring in the distance, getting louder the closer I get. He was heavy and my arms were getting tired. I couldn't wait until the blood flow would return to them. </p><p>I tried to lay him on the ground but he protested by pulling me close to him. His arms were caught around me so tightly that I almost couldn't breathe.</p><p>"Stay," he mumbled. His hair brushed my ear as he nuzzled his face into my neck.</p><p>I pushed him off me so he fell backwards into the box. He slumped into it until he was almost folded in half. He let out a small groan of pain.</p><p>I forted the box into the river. The flow almost immediately took hold of him and he floated away. While he went through the first curve I could almost see the box tipping over, but it luckily didn't.</p><p>I sat down and looked at him as he soared away into the distance. Nothing. I  felt nothing at all. No tears streaming down my face, no angry screaming and no second thoughts. This was it.</p><p> ‘’Maybe fate decides we’ll meet again one day. Goodbye my son.’’</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. A Story of Grief</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tommy's funeral, Tubbo gives a speech and breaks down.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The ending of this chapter was written by my Beta Reader again! :)</p><p>Also yes, I made the Fundy and Dream marriage canon. I don't care that it isn't, you can pry this from my cold dead hands. (That aslo includes the SBI Family Dynamic)</p><p>Leave a Kudos if you enjoyed! And a Comment, if you feel like it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I could remember a similar day, the chapel had been huge and breathtaking and everyone had been so happy. I remembered that I was happy, my son, was getting married. I had grinned at him when he stood there waiting on the aisle and he had given me a toothy grin back.</p><p>That day, Tommy had taken his duties as flower girl very seriously. He had pranced towards the aisle with a pep in his step and he had been singing the entire time. A cheery boy handing out flowers.</p><p>Today's ceremony, everyone had been chosen as flower girl. All around me, lots of different flowers were on display. Everyone held them loosely in their hands, blossoms pointed towards the ground. Their heads followed its direction in an eternal game of not wanting to be the first one to look up.</p><p>As I understood from my invitation, the flowers were for Tommy. They had made a shrine for him of cobblestone and it had been decorated by the hands of Tubbo. </p><p>"Dear attendants. Today- Today it's Tommy's funeral," Tubbo spoke. "And I always hoped that I would never have to say those words."<br/>A shattering silence fell until Tubbo continued shakily. "I figured that I would sacrifice myself for Tommy anyday. I would sacrifice myself and the funeral would be mine... Not Tommy's. His body still hasn’t been found, which means I can’t give him my life. Even if I have only one.”</p><p>In a swift motion several heads were raised. It was as if Tubbo's voice had awoken them from a spell they were under. The mention of resurrection might have helped, everyone knew that theoretically, you could give others your life, but people seldom lived through their death and the ones that did wouldn’t speak of it.</p><p>"I've read that, way back in the day, they would encourage soldiers to have close bonds with each other," Tubbo continued. "Because they would fight harder when they had a loved one by their side to fight for. And I don't know if that is true, but for me it certainly is- was. Tommy always pushed me to be better, he was amazing. He really was."</p><p>"And I'm so sorry. Because I failed him. I decided to exile him, because I was scared. And that's on me. Tommy, Tommy took his own life," I could hear sharp breaths all around me and saw Niki wipe her eyes several times.</p><p> "And I could have avoided that. I loved him so much, but he died thinking I hated him."</p><p>"I've always been afraid of what could happen and I'm still afraid. That's why I needed Tommy. Tommy was never afraid. He was the bravest person I've ever met." </p><p>It was as if a small animal in my chest had formed and had started roaring. Like the roars echoing against my ribs and making the animal roar louder as he became afraid of himself. I started shaking and I nervously rummaged through my pockets.</p><p>"We should all try to be braver. We should all be a little more like Tommy."</p><p>Tommy was dead. Tommy had killed himself. Those were the roars echoing in my chest. This is Tommy's funeral. I almost sighed really loudly as I found the thing I was looking for, hidden underneath a ton of sticks in my pockets. I couldn't hold my hand still while I held the blue in front of me.</p><p> Suddenly beside me, Dream helped me steady my hand. The blue had started to work and I let out a shuddery exhale. Once again I was calm. I wiped away the tears that I didn't even realize had formed and I revelled in the shoulder pats Dream was giving me, so I smiled at him.</p><p>"Tommy's gone, but his legacy is not," Tubbo was still speaking. " Let's make him proud," he then abruptly stopped his sentence. </p><p>"Let's make him proud and-" His voice sounded weepy.</p><p>"And- " </p><p>Tubbo was staring intently at a spot on the floor, like something terrible would happen if he dared to move his gaze. </p><p>Next to me, I saw Dream standing up.</p><p>I looked back at Tubbo and saw that his eyes were now filled with tears. "And-" he whimpered. He was trying to make a river, I thought. A river that would be a shrine of him, so he could be together with Tommy. A cobblestone shrine and a river from tears.</p><p>Tubbo snapped his head away from the spot on the floor and his gaze was almost burning. All bloodshot eyes and tensed up limbs. Then, like he wanted to complete the next speedrun record he rushed away from the podium, incidentally colliding with the speedrunner himself.</p><p>Dream grabbed him by the shoulders and steered him away from the crowd. Whom had become deadly silent. Due to the fact that Tubbo's microphone had not been muted we could hear him sob violently through the speaker. </p><p>The funeral director seemed to take this as a cue and he quickly switched the microphone to his. "A very emotional eulogy," he said. "Now, could the brother of Tommy, Ghostbur please come forward."</p><p>I walked up to the front. It was as if a spotlight had fallen on me and I was the only person they could see. Eyes were prodding me from everywhere and I had to desperately try and focus. There I stood, my thoughts swivelled around in my brain as I was thinking of what to say.</p><p>‘’Hello everyone!’’  All the people sitting in front of me, tightly packed together on the small church benches, were ogling me. I started plucking at my lip. "Tommy is my little brother and he’s also my most annoying brother,” I started.</p><p>“In fact, the day I met him I already thought I was annoying. Techno and I had gone swimming, we were all wet and gross from the creek water and Phil had come downstairs with a little baby boy in his hands.”</p><p>“He was an ugly thing. Some people find baby’s cute but I always thought they were disgusting, Tommy was the reason for that. He was the most disgusting baby I’ve ever seen. Phil handed him over to me. “That’s your new brother,” he’d said.”</p><p>“I reluctantly took him, and I remember looking at him and going; “ew”. Then I was grounded for two days, I thought that was so unfair. I still do, how can you get grounded for something that is true? Because even now. I look at Tommy and I think “ew”.”</p><p>“I was saying that as a kid all stinky from the pond. It doesn’t matter how disgusting I thought and still think my little brother is. Because I’m disgusting too, especially as a kid.”</p><p>“Tommy and I. We kind of fit. He always makes me laugh, harder than anyone else ever could. And he’s always ready to act as a clown, just to turn a frown upside down. Hey that rhymes!”</p><p>“Tommy may be annoying, but he’s also really great. And that’s why I’m glad we are having this ceremony for him. But I do want to say, everyone is so sad. I’m a bit sad too, because Tommy can’t be here because of his exile. But Tommy would want us to be happy and I want everyone to be happy too.”</p><p>“I know we all miss Tommy, but I think we should just be happy that he exists!”</p><p>I went quiet and in the new found silence I could hear people slightly sniffling. “I’m gonna tell him,” I heard someone whisper. A deep crease appeared in my forehead, screwed up in thought.</p><p>“Don’t you dare,” said someone, probably as a response to the whisper I heard earlier. Blank stares were directed at me and I felt the need to get away crawling at me, but I couldn’t decipher why. </p><p>“Thank you,” I said to the audience but it wasn’t heard. I had become incorporeal again. My being not more noticeable than a gust of wind. </p><p>I opened my eyes to see that the wind had carried me outside the church. Faintly in my ears I heard a lullaby, but it was one I didn’t recognize. On one of the benches sat Tubbo, who had his eyes pinned on the floor, with Dream next to him stroking his shoulder.</p><p>‘’It’s gonna be okay Tubbo.’’ Dream said as he traced circles on Tubbo’s back with his finger. </p><p>‘’Tommy’’ I knew that was the only word he could bring out. </p><p>‘’I’m very sorry for your loss.’’ Dream said. ‘’I knew how much Tommy meant to you.’’</p><p>‘’Yes, thank you, Dream.’’ Tubbo kept staring at the floor. </p><p>‘’You know, It’s sad that it wasn’t mutual.’’  </p><p>‘’Yeah... ‘’ He nodded and looked up at Dream. His eyes were still red from crying.‘’Wait, what does that mean?’’ I could see the confusion on his face.</p><p>‘’You didn’t think he would hate you after you exiled him?’’ </p><p>‘’I… I had no choice. He did this himself. I didn't mean to-’’ He started sobbing loudly now. ‘’I really didn’t mean to hurt him and now I can never tell him how much I actually cared about him!’’</p><p>‘’Please Tubbo.’’ Dream softly squeezed his shoulder and pulled him against him while continuing to mutter comforting words.</p><p>‘’I’m so…’’ He swallowed.’’ I just don't know what to do without him.’’ He tried wiping his tears, but no matter how hard he tried the tears kept streaming down his face. </p><p>‘’It’s okay. I understand. You were… well he was your friend.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. A Story of not knowing when to mind your own goddamn business</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ghostbur and Ranboo visit Tommy and Techno. Techno leaves to meet someone... unexpected. (But also not really that unexpected). Ghostbur has a bit of a scare.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ranboo was an interesting character. He was a lanky guy and he had two different eye colours and skin tones. He would have been quite intimidating, if he wasn’t currently freaking out about snow.</p><p>“I just really don’t like water Ghostbur,” he said. He was clinging to the base of a tree so the snow falling down on us would be stopped by the leaves above us.</p><p>“I actually think it’s nice,” I said. “If only I wouldn’t melt from it.” </p><p>“The snow should almost be over,” Ranboo said. “Then we can go visit Tommy.”</p><p>In the distance we could already see the house that Techno and Tommy were currently residing in. It was a lovely little cottage covered in a lovely coat of snow. It looked almost like a gingerbread house. </p><p>I spread my fingers out in the air. “You’re right,” I said. “The snow stopped.”</p><p>Ranboo smiled at me and finally let go of the tree he was holding. “Let's go then."</p><p>I hummed a tune as we trudged through the snow, it wasn't far. So we arrived in minutes. In front of the door I wiped the snow of Ranboo's suit and adjusted his tie.</p><p>He chuckled. "I could have done that myself." </p><p>I knocked on the door. "I wanted to do it for you." </p><p>The door opened within seconds, behind it was Tommy, with the biggest grin on his face I had seen in a while.</p><p>"Hey Tommy!" I said.</p><p>"Ghostbur! Ranboo!" He eyed us up and down. "You two look fancy," he said referring to the suits we were wearing.</p><p>"Oh, we just came from your funeral," Ranboo said and he stepped inside the cottage. </p><p>"You came from my what?" </p><p>"Your funeral," Ranboo paused and looked at Tommy for a bit. "It was heartwrenching to watch, actually." </p><p>"I'm very much alive," Tommy protested. He closed the door behind us.</p><p>"Sadly," Techno said, who walked up to us.</p><p>Tommy slapped him playfully. "Hey!" He turned his attention back to Ranboo, eyes twinkling. "Why didn't you tell those dickheads that I'm alive?"</p><p>"I can't possibly say that without incriminating myself. Besides, I thought you were dead too at first…." Ranboo shot a meaningful look at Tommy. "Tubbo thinks you killed yourself because of him."</p><p>Tommy looked at the ground. He muttered something I couldn't hear. </p><p>"Don't worry too much about it," Ranboo said. "It's not your fault. If anyone's it's Dream's." </p><p>Tommy and Techno's eyes lit up at the same time. "Dream is my friend!" Tommy said, but Techno remained silent and put on his coat.</p><p>"Where are you going?"  I asked.</p><p>Techno grunted as an answer and went to put on his boots. Then he opened the creaking wooden doors. "Keep an eye on the kids." </p><p>"Will do!" I chimed. Tommy and Ranboo were whispering things to each other. Tommy had undone Ranboo's tie and was playing with it. Something about the sight of it tugged at my heartstrings, but I ignored the feeling.</p><p>A campfire was slowly sizzling out in the corner, it was barely discernible over Tommy’s boisterous voice and Ranboo speaking back to him in a hushed and hurried tone. The campfire would go out and with it would go a warmth that made living in the tundra bearable. My next of kin could still feel cold even if I couldn’t.</p><p>“Why don’t we get more wood for the fire?” I suggested. </p><p>Tommy perked up almost instantly, like a golden retriever would when you called their name. “That’s a great idea!” He really wanted to get out of the house, something that Techno, as overprotective as he was, probably didn’t allow a lot. “Come Tubbo!” He said, tugging on Ranboo’s arm.</p><p>Ranboo looked a tad uncomfortable but despite that he didn’t mention Tommy’s use of the wrong name. I smiled at him and he shot me a sheepish look back. I stared at their backs as I floated behind them.</p><p>The snow reached their knees at this point and was falling into their boots while they walked. Ranboo grimaced a lot. </p><p>The sun was starting to go down and she brought an orange haze over all of us. The moon was already visible if I looked closely, she was half full tonight. I knew she was singing to me, a song filled with lyrics about love, love which filled the air like the snowflaked had done before. Coating the ground so walking across it became almost impossible.</p><p>Faintly I heard voices to the right of me and I followed the footsteps in the snow towards it. Tommy and Ranboo must have gathered some wood already by now. </p><p>“You still owe me,” a voice said, one I didn’t recognize. </p><p>“Yes,” said Techno. </p><p>I came closer to the source of the voices and I saw them. On one side stood Techno, his hair still braided how I’d done it the other night, but a lot more messy. His front lip was sticking out and he glared daggers at the man in front of him.</p><p>“Don’t worry,” the man said. “I don’t mean you or your family any harm.” His face was camouflaged by his hood. “In fact, I want to give Tommy what he wants.”</p><p>“You do?” Techno said, his eyes widening slightly.</p><p>“I know you would do anything to have your family happy. We’ll give Tommy his discs,” the man turned more towards me and I could see the mask that obscured his face. The two dots that formed the eyes of the smiley face looked almost menacing but I could tell that he, Dream, was laughing underneath it. “As long as you give me what I want.”</p><p>Dream looked at Techno as if expecting an answer but he was met with silence.</p><p>“You know the story of Theseus? You know how he dies?” Dream continued. “You are, if you want it or not, King Lycomedes, and I want you to fulfill that destiny. I want you to cast Theseus off the cliff. I want him to splatter on the rocks and be defeated still under the guise of fake hospitality.”</p><p>Techno’s lip quivered. “I would never betray my family.” </p><p>“I also remember you saying that you believe in full reciprocity,” Dream laughed. “You said that when I did you that favour.” Dream twirled the string of his hoodie around his finger. “And you’ve betrayed your family before…” </p><p>“I could always battle you. I can’t owe dead people.”</p><p>Dream wheezed so loudly that he sounded like he was being transformed into a tea kettle. “Oh Techno.” Another wheeze. “We both know that if we fight it would end with both of us bleeding dry.” Dream looked in my direction and I froze on the spot. “What would your darling Theseus do without you?” His voice was laced so that I knew it was also directed at me.</p><p>Techno looked up so he met Dream’s eyes. “Does he get to be happy first?” His voice shook slightly.</p><p>“Of course.” </p><p>“I’m only doing this because I don’t want violence to become mundane for him,” Techno said. “He has already seen too much of it.” Partly because of me, was left unspoken.</p><p>“Wisely spoken,” Dream said. He extended his hand. “Do we have a deal?”</p><p>“We have a deal,” Techno sighed. “At this point, there is nothing left to do but comply.”</p><p>“Excellent,” Dream said. </p><p>Techno slightly shook his head. He turned around and looked directly at a rock behind me. </p><p>“If you don’t keep your promise I will fight you until nothing but a husk of who you once was is left.”</p><p>Techno chuckled. “I’d like to see the day you do.” He whirled his cape around his shoulders, nuzzling his face into the collar. “As you gain your power from impersonating a coward.” Dream didn’t react to that and together we stared at Techno getting further away and becoming a tiny dot in the distance. </p><p>It had become completely dark, we were barely even illuminated by the night sky. Dark clouds restrained the moon and her star sisters of singing at me. The silence filled me, but then I could feel a wet drop of snow falling on my skin. It crackled as it hit my skin and I winced. </p><p>‘’Dream, can you please build me a roof?’’ I turned around and saw him looking at me coldly. As if he was trying to replace the cold of the snow that I couldn’t feel with his gaze. ‘’Dream?” I murmured. “ Please hurry it hurts!’’ He started laughing and made it so that iron bars started towering around me. I felt a cold chill go down my spine.</p><p>‘’I’m sorry Ghostbur. I can’t build a roof for you.’’ </p><p>‘’What?’’</p><p>‘’You didn’t think I noticed that you were eavesdropping on me and Techno? I don’t know how much you heard, but I can't take any risks.’’ By now all the bars were surrounding me and I was stuck. </p><p>‘’Please Dream! You have to let me out! I won't tell anyone, I promise.’’</p><p>‘’Yeah, I know.’’</p><p>‘’Please let me out… Dream. Why are you doing this?” I could see the grin on his face grow bigger and bigger. ‘’You know that the snow will melt me!’’</p><p>‘’I do. I’m very sorry Ghostbur. I can’t risk you telling all of L’Manberg what Techno and I are doing.’’</p><p>‘’Dream I swear I won’t tell! I can lie, I can keep a secret. Please let me out!’’</p><p>‘’Oh Ghostbur even if you did tell someone. They won't believe you. I just can't risk it. Look I’d love to chat some more. But I have more important things to do.’’ He turned around and ran away. “Goodbye Ghostbur.’’</p><p>‘’No wait please don't leave me here! Please!’’ I screamed, but Dream was already out of sight. I could feel the snow burning through my pores on my face. I tried to break the iron bars, but every time the snow touched my skin I flinched. I couldn’t talk anymore. The only thing I brought out were groans of pain. </p><p>I couldn’t scream and even if I could there would be nobody around to hear it. No one except the clouds that were obscuring the moon still, taunting me with their presence. No one but Dream, the man who had signed me up for this fate.</p><p>I collapsed on the ground, the snow burned hot against my cheeks. I closed my eyes and pretended I was on the beach. I pretended I laid down after playing in the sea and trying to drown Tommy but failing several times. I pretended the hot sun was shining into my face and that that was why I couldn't seem to open my eyes. I pretended the sun was melting me to become one with the sand. So I would become a languid teenage boy that my father would have to drag home to avoid getting a sunstroke. </p><p>I pretended I could feel his soft hands on my face as I lost consciousness. “I’ve got you son,” I pretended he whispered.</p><p>Much later, I would open my eyes to see Phil’s and realize I didn’t have to pretend.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Phil to the rescue whoo! </p><p>Is this chapter very predictable plot wise? Yes. Does that matter? No. Because trust me, the rest isn't. <br/>(Although if you pay really close attention you might catch some things already.....).</p><p>Also, introducing Ranboo properly. He's my favourite Dream SMP member but I plotted this before his lore really started so sadly I won't be including any of that. He'll still be along for the ride though!</p><p>Leave a comment or Kudos if you enjoyed! Also, roast me if you see a typo.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. A Story of Unlocking your Secret Childhood Trauma</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>(Not so) mysterious narrator ponders about Tubbo and decides he doesn't want to be forgotten anymore. The result... poor Tubbo.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Psssttt you... yeah you. If you check out my instagram (Bubblegum_Poppy) you'll be able to find some fanart I made for this chapter. It's Tubbo dancing with our (again not so) mysterious narrator. (Yeah I know making fanart for your own fanfiction, nerd behaviour but oh well).</p><p>I hope you'll enjoy this chapter! If you do, leave a Kudo or a comment, I feast on those, they are my only fuel.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He climbed into the bed. He was holding his breath, as if that meant I wouldn’t notice. He curled himself up by my feet and his hair tickled where it swooshed against my ankle. </p><p>“Tubbo,” I said. “Aren’t you a bit old for that?”</p><p>He jolted away, so quickly that the covers no longer covered my feet. “Sorry.” His eyes flitted around the room. He shook his hands like he’d burned them. “‘S just. I had a nightmare.”</p><p>I grunted. Of course. “What was it about?”</p><p> </p><p>“It was-” He hesitated. “I was older. I was like you, almost exactly like you. But you weren’t there, because, because you died.”</p><p>“Tubbo,” I said sternly and I motioned for him to come towards me. “Don’t let dreams impact your reality. I would never die, and if I did, I wouldn’t leave you.”</p><p>He climbed next to me in the bed and hooked his arms around my chest. I huffed from the sudden impact. He nuzzled his face into my sleepshirt but he didn’t relax his body. “Do you promise?” He looked up to me and I had to fight the urge to smile at him.</p><p>“I promise.”</p><p>I heard the music before I saw him. The familiar notes dancing in my ears. He stood facing the fog filled mirror in a pristine blue suit, his eyes wide open. Technically I hadn’t broken my promise, I stood so close behind him I could lay my hand on his shoulder, but I felt like I had.</p><p>“Tubbo?” Someone called from outside the doors, then they knocked on it a few times for good measure. “Tubbo are you in there?”</p><p>Tubbo took a step forward and wiped the fog from the mirror. </p><p>“Tubbo?” </p><p>At first I thought I was seeing myself in the mirror, but it wasn’t. It was him, with majestic horns curling around his face.  He even looked with the same dull eyes I used to do everyday, although he carried himself with something more akin to fear, not anger. He cried softly.</p><p>“Tubbo?” The person asked again. I realized it must have been Ranboo, he was the only one without the sense not to leave already.</p><p>“GO AWAY.”</p><p>I heard Ranboo’s footsteps shuffle off into the distance. Tubbo let out a breath and sank in on himself. The music was still playing, I wondered if he had put it on knowing why he had wanted to.</p><p>“You and me share growing memories,” I sang. </p><p>A frown line appeared in his forehead. “Of a field of blooming flowers that attract the bees,” he monotonically continued. “What? Why are you here?”</p><p>“So you know what it means?”</p><p>“I-” He looked away. “I don’t think so.”</p><p>I extended my hand and motioned my head to the jukebox that was playing our song. “Dance with me.” It wasn’t a question.</p><p> He gulped and grabbed my hand. I positioned his arms around my waist and I grabbed his shoulders. I took a step backwards and he walked forwards, he almost bumped into my chest but I had already taken the next step. </p><p>“Do you remember?” He twirled me under his arm. “I was the one who taught you that.”</p><p>“I don’t. You never taught me how to dance.”</p><p>I let him lead me through the living room. We spun around the couch. “Then why?” I raised an eyebrow. “Are you so good at it?”</p><p>He almost let go of me but he recovered by spinning me around again, and once more, but I suspected that was just to make me dizzy.</p><p>“I know it hurts. The horns. It will go away after a few days, trust me.”</p><p>“Why would I?” </p><p>I closed my eyes, the chorus of the lullaby came on again. I remembered singing it to him when he was younger and pressed against my chest in a baby carrier. I was stroking his back with my one hand and had a piping hot coffee in the other. During the commute I would hum it under my breath and he would stop his constant whining. </p><p>“Summer day, wind blows through the trees,” Tubbo sang and I snapped my eyes open to meet his. “I love you. You’re all I need.”</p><p>I could see the understanding in his eyes, dawning on him, finally, after having preyed on him for years. “That’s right, kid.”</p><p>“You’re him?”</p><p>The corner of my mouth pulled up. I nodded slightly. </p><p>“No surely not.” He shook his head. “This can’t be.”</p><p>“But it is.” I took a deep breath. “When we… parted, I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to see you again. Then when you became my secretary of state I saw you and I felt so faint. I’d bitten my tongue so hard I bled. I knew it was you, from your big eyes  and the way you held yourself , as if you had something to protect. I remember staring you down and realizing that you had forgotten me and I thought; what kind of father had I been to make you forget me?”</p><p>I looked to Tubbo for an answer, but he didn’t. I saw a singular tear drop down his cheek.</p><p>“Don’t cry boy,” I said sternly. I wiped the tear away with my thumb. </p><p>He looked away. “But how could I not?” His voice sounded shaky, like he was trying to talk around a lump in his throat. He bit the inside of his cheek. “I remember.”</p><p>“Well that was the goal.”</p><p>He pushed me away and I almost fell over, but I whirled around and barely managed to stop my raised hand midair. Tubbo flinched away from me. I waved the tension that was created away.</p><p>“Are you just not gonna say anything?”</p><p>He opened and closed his mouth a few times. It was quite funny actually, so much that I had to suppress a chuckle. </p><p>I sighed. “Just let it sink it in a bit.”</p><p>He nodded dumbly and stumbled backwards onto the bed. He was staring at the floor as if he was trying to burn a hole in it. Hell, if sinking it in looked like this, I could kinda understand why Wilbur loved his blue so much. </p><p>Maybe some things were better left forgotten, but I’d rather it not be me.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. A Story of Kidnapping</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tommy and Techno sneak into L'Manberg, where they stumble upon Tubbo.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter switches narrator in the middle somewhere... fyi!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Techno and Tommy were travelling through the sewers of L’Manburg. Tommy shot through it’s narrow pipes so quickly that Techno almost couldn’t keep up with him. I smiled, Tommy looked happy. I wished he was like this more often.</p><p>“How do you even know we’re going the right way?” Techno asked.</p><p>Tommy didn’t even slow his pace or turn around. “I’ve spent a lot of time around here.” </p><p>“I can tell,” Techno muttered. He pulled his legs up high as he waded through the water. </p><p>Tommy abruptly came to a stop and Techno bumped into his back. In front of them was a shaft going high up, with a single rope ladder coming down from it. “This is it,” Tommy said. He reached up to get a hold of the ladder. “We go up here and we end up in Tubbo’s white house.” Tommy looked Techno in the eye. “Are you ready?”</p><p>Techno drank an invisibility potion as an answer. </p><p>“Let’s go,” Tommy whispered and he slowly started to climb up on the ladder. The shaft was very deep and by the time he came out of it he looked even dirtier than he had down in the sewers. </p><p>Muffled by the door leading to Tubbo’s bedroom, we could hear a whining sound. Tommy put his head up higher and combed his hand through his hair. A deep sigh escaped from his mouth, then he sneaked around the door. </p><p>Tubbo looked a mess. He was lying in bed with multiple blankets and pillows sprawled across him, curled up into a little ball, one of the pillows covered his head as he sobbed into it.</p><p>“Tubbo?” Tommy said, his voice suddenly sounding weak. </p><p>The sobbing stopped. “Go away,” Tubbo seemed to choke on his voice.</p><p>“I came to find you Tubbo,” Tommy said. “It was so far.” He looked away as if he was mulling something over. “I had to use my compass to find you.”</p><p>The silence filled the room with a tense energy that pressed unto my chest. Tubbo suddenly pushed his blankets away to sit upright. “You’re not real,” he accused. </p><p>“I am. Tub-” Tommy looked back at Tubbo and took a sharp breath. “Tubbo. What?” </p><p>Peeking out from under his messy hair were two majestic horns, curling like the volutes that adorned an ionic temple. They reminded me of a man, a man whose features were washed out by different hues of blues. </p><p>“Don’t look at me,” Tubbo said.</p><p>“Tubbo,” Tommy said. He leaned forward and crawled unto the bed. He reached out and swirled his hands in the air around Tubbo’s horns. “How?” </p><p>“I don’t know.” It was said so softly. His eyes met Tommy’s for a second and electricity seemed to spark off of them. A spark that could cause a city to short circuit. I held my breath.</p><p>“I’ve missed so much,” Tommy said. “I should never have-”</p><p>“I’m so sorry Tommy.”</p><p>Tommy inched closer to Tubbo.  He settled his hands on his shoulders and squeezed them softly. “You exiled me.”</p><p>Tubbo gasped. It was a delicate sound. He let his hands roam to settle around Tommy’s waist. “You seem so real,” he said and he shuffled his body to get even closer to Tommy.</p><p>Tommy moved his hands behind Tubbo’s neck and looked him dead in the eye. Tubbo’s eyes widened a bit. They were like a novel that got more confusing the further you read it. Tommy started laughing. “That’s because I am,” he said. “Real.” </p><p>I could barely even blink and Technoblade appeared, pickaxe in hand as he towered over Tommy and Tubbo. Tommy had caught Tubbo in such a grip that he couldn’t get away. “My sincerest apologies, Mr President,” Techno said. “But it looks like we’ll have to kidnap you.” </p><p>“Wha-” Tubbo started but he was cut off by a piece of cloth being shoved into his mouth. Tommy managed to get his arms behind his back and tie them together. </p><p>“You know,” Tommy said, grinning mischievously. “You gotta do what you gotta do!” He skipped towards the shaft they had come in with. Techno pushed Tubbo after him. Tubbo was moving frantically in an attempt to escape.</p><p>Techno’s base was so far away, it was a place no one would ever think to go search for him. He was thrown into a darkened room. The only light came from between two iron bars facing the outside. With the light a cold wind made itself welcome in the room. I closed my eyes and I felt something wash over me.</p><p>Life in a prison is quiet. I wished I could have filled the silence but my throat seemed to close up everytime I tried to speak. I was so proud of him, but he was so sad. Tubbo was curled up into a little ball, his horns peeking out from under greasy hair. </p><p>A door creaking open broke the silence, warm air flooded inside the prison. Tubbo tried to look at the door unnoticed. </p><p>“I can see you’re looking at me,” a soothing voice said. Phil stood in the doorway with a blanket tucked under his arms.</p><p>Tubbo turned so Phil faced his back. “Didn’t I put you under house arrest because you were helping Technoblade?” he said.</p><p>“Yes, but it’s also Christmas and I wanted to be with my family.”</p><p>“It’s christmas?” Tubbo exhaled loudly.</p><p>Phil stepped into the prison and closed the door behind him. “I got you something.” When Tubbo didn’t answer he continued. “Techno and Tommy are smart but they didn’t think about the fact that you would be pretty useless if you died of hypothermia.” He stepped even closer and draped the blanket over Tubbo. “I hoped this would keep you warm.”</p><p>“Thanks… I guess.” </p><p>“Do you want me to stay or leave?” Phil asked.</p><p>“Stay,” Tubbo mumbled. He slowly turned around and wrapped the blanket tight around him. On his head, his horns slightly pulsed. </p><p>“Wow,” Phil said. “They look good on you kid.”</p><p>Tubbo squinted at him. “You knew?”</p><p>“Well not for sure, but I sort of assumed. He lost his kid and you suddenly appeared,” Phil said. He looked kinda sheepish. “And uh, You look a lot like him, always have,” </p><p>“I do not!” Tubbo sputtered. His face turned sour. “So it’s true?”</p><p>“Tubbo…”</p><p>Without warning, Tubbo bursted out laughing. “Fuck!” He was breathing so violently that the entire room was filled with fog. “I really hoped-” He hiccuped. “That I was going crazy.” Tears spilled out of his eyes.</p><p>“Tubbo,” Phil said calmly.</p><p>Tubbo flinched and squirmed backwards until his back was pressed against the wall. “Wait, sorry.” He rubbed eyes in a smooth motion. “Sorry,” he repeated. “I didn’t mean to cry.” </p><p>“I don’t mind it if you cry. I just wanted to tell you, that being his son doesn’t make any difference. You’re still you. You’re still Tubbo.”</p><p>“I’m still Tubbo,” Tubbo repeated. </p><p>Phil smiled at him and carefully patted his shoulder. Tubbo tensed up but eventually relaxed. I had the sudden urge to hug him, but I couldn’t move. Phil gingerly stood up and walked to the door. “Merry Christmas,” he whispered.</p><p>“Can-” Tubbo began. “Can you do me a favour?” </p><p>Phil hummed in response.</p><p>“Can you tell Tommy that he’s still my Tommy,” Tubbo raised his eyebrow af if he was daring someone to contradict him. “No matter what.” </p><p>“Yeah,” Phil said and he smiled again. “I can do that.” </p><p>“Thank you.” </p><p>We were left in Phil’s absence. I imagined breathing and white fog coming out of my mouth. I had never felt so cold, as if on cue, Tubbo shivered. I looked at him and I knew he was aching. Aching, something I hadn’t done since I surrendered him to the river.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So I actually thought of the whole kidnapping thing BEFORE Tommy and Techno held Connor for ransom so uhm... where's my paycheck Dream?</p><p>All jokes aside, I hope you enjoyed. I thrive on validation and there is a little kudos button AND a comment button oohhhhhhhh... make of that what you will.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. A Story of Parenting (how to do it wrong)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ghostbur talks to our (not so) mysterious other narrator about their sons. Since they're both narrator they're both referred to as "I", confusing I know, but you're a big kid. You'll figure it out.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There would come a day that my mistakes would burn me. My mistakes would leave blisters all over my hands as Itry to do your work, making each touch more painful as I went on.</p><p>“He was my mistake,” I said. “He was an adorable boy. He used to walk up to me and tug on my finger until I would hug him. I used to tell him “five more minutes” because I had to finish work. And then it would be hours later and he would still be tugging on my fingers.”</p><p>“I would have done anything for him. He was so helpless, his little ears would twitch everytime I complimented him and It would make my heart swell. I would have changed the entire world for him if it meant he could be happy,” I said to myself. “He could never be a mistake.”</p><p>“The thing is though,” I said. “You can’t change the entire world. You need to prepare your child for how the world is. And the world can be cruel, the real world isn’t going to baby you. He needed to learn how to be independent.”</p><p>“But shouldn’t a child have a place to feel safe? Especially because the real world can be so cruel, he needs to have a safe space. I want that to be with me. He’s such an amazing boy, I don’t I could ever let him go like that.”</p><p>“Letting go was the best and the worst thing I’ve ever done…” I mumbled. </p><p>I fell silent and I could feel the silence ring through my head. It was painful.</p><p>“Look at him now,” I continued. “He’s done so many good things. He’s come so far. He’s never needed me. Your son will never achieve anything like it. Because you don’t let him.”</p><p>“My son doesn’t have to achieve anything! I will always be proud of him. Phil had so many expectations and I lived up to none of them. What my son needs is security!”</p><p>“And what use is security?” I raised my voice. “His father is dead and now he’s lost because you never let him be his own person! He’s going to be unaccomplished for the rest of his life. </p><p>“At least my child isn’t fucked in the head!” </p><p>I felt something tear through me. My head hurt. Something threw me to the ground and I doubled over. I felt my stomach pulling together and I was puking. My hands were soon covered in blue liquid. </p><p>“Are you suggesting that your son isn’t! That you aren’t!” I tried to get up and heaved. “I live in your head! I know everything there is to know about you! Your head is no pretty place!”</p><p>I pulled at my hair. My head felt like it was splitting open. “NO ONE IS MAKING YOU STAY,” I yelled. </p><p>“HE IS,” I said. My eyes prickled. “You and me,” I brought out. “We share growing memories.” I shook my head and my hair flopped into my face. “I have unfinished business here,” I finally stated calmly.</p><p>“I BURNED down my nation so it couldn’t fall into the hands of people like you,” I said. “I’m not letting you share my body!”</p><p>I sighed. “Wilbur, Wilbur,” my voice sounded husky. “Have some blue,” I extended my hand. “Calm yourself.”</p><p>I motioned to swat my hand away, but I kept offering. “I don’t want your GODDAMN blue,” I protested but I took the blue regardless. It left blisters on my hands, that’s how I knew this was a mistake. </p><p>“Good,” I said. </p><p>I hummed in agreement. Experimentally, I hummed louder. I had a song stuck in my head, but I couldn’t think of a situation that I had ever heard it before. </p><p>“Summer day,” I sang. “Wind blows through the trees.” My voice echoed through my head. “I love you, you’re all I need.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Bit of a short chapter but that's okay. Hope it made any sense lmao.</p><p>Let me know what you thought! Now, farewell wanderer of the Archive.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. A Story of Life in (Budget) Prison</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tubbo's trapped in the makeshift prison attached to Techno's cabin. Tommy comes in to talk to him.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Do I enjoy traumatizing characters? I'd say no but my writing history says otherwise.. AnYwAyS I added this chapter on Mobile so hope it went okay!</p><p>If anyone can tell what songs I was listening to I'll give you a cookie, seriously I'll personally come hand it over.</p><p>Leave a Kudo or a comment if you enjoyed.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy scrubbed his chin, he had just come from outside, his cheeks were a tinque pink and his hair was slightly wet. He then blew on his hands and shook them repeatedly.</p><p>He went to take off his coat and scarf when he suddenly froze in his tracks. From behind the closet came an odd squeaking sound. He looked around him and moved towards the closet, the floorboards creaked under him. His clunky shoes sounded loud and as a response the squeaking became louder. With ease, Tommy moved the closet to reveal a door behind it. He brought his face to the door. “Everything okay in there?!” He yelled. </p><p>The response was a low squeak, almost like a whine. </p><p>“I’m coming in,” Tommy said. In a swift motion he opened the door, stepping through it and closing it behind himself immediately. “Hello Tubbo.” His voice was low and gravely and very unlike Tommy. </p><p>Tubbo lay in the corner, a blanket wrapped around him tightly. His stomach visibly moved up and down and he made a little noise every time he exhaled. His horns seemed to have grown bigger and his chin was dark. I first thought they were just shadows but upon closer look I saw that it were mutton chops that graced his face.</p><p>Tommy must have noticed too as he sat down in front of Tubbo and laid out his compass in front of him, the compass pointed right towards the boy in front of him.</p><p>Tubbo grabbed at his chest, or so it seemed, until he pulled out his own compass and laid it next to Tommy’s. Together they formed a thin straight line that could be broken with the slightest nudge. </p><p>“It says you’re still Tubbo,” Tommy said. “So please tell me why you look like Schlatt?” </p><p>“I don’t want to talk to you,” Tubbo said. He had surprised himself by speaking, his voice sounded hoarse like he was suppressing a cough.</p><p>Tommy tilted his head slightly. “That’s our problem, I think,” he mused. “We don’t have conversations.” He paused. “I talk, and you don’t listen.”</p><p>“That’s not true,” Tubbo said. “You know I would have followed you everywhere.”</p><p>Tommy scampered. “You exiled me.” </p><p>“I-” Tubbo looked away. “Yes. I’m sorry.” </p><p>“And you didn’t even visit me. Did you know that being exiled does wonders for telling you who your real friends are? Only Dream visited me, no one else,” Tommy fiddled with the laces on his shoes, which were so wet that they had left two pools of water on the ground. “They didn’t really care about me. You didn’t really care about me.”</p><p>“Who told you that,” He said and his eyes shone. “Because I never said that.” Tubbo sat up straight, his head slightly tilted upwards. I gasped softly. He looked almost majestic like this. “You make up things in your head about me and then choose to believe they’re true, but you never stop to ask about me.” He winced. “Did you know I’m Schlatt’s son?” He let out a breathy laugh. </p><p>“You’re what?” </p><p>“He abandoned me when I was twelve,” Tubbo said. “He fucked me over. Neglected me for years until my brain was effed.” He laughed again, but it was so fast he could have been crying too. “Then I became too much to deal with. So he threw me in the river to fend for myself.” He looked at Tommy. “You’re so self centered that you don’t think about the fact that others may be going through shit as well.”</p><p>“Maybe,” Tommy said and his lips tutted forward. “But you sit here whining that he abandoned you, but that’s no excuse.” He balled up his fists and Tubbo paled at the sight of them. “Because essentially,” he spit. “You did the same to me.” Tommy pulled his knees to his chest. “You fucking abandoned me by exiling me!”</p><p>“Because you did something wrong!” Tubbo raised his voice and it echoed through the room. “It was that or a war! I WAS SCARED.” He took some deep breaths. “We couldn’t afford to have another war.”</p><p>“So your position means more to you than I do?” Tommy said, his chin squaring out. </p><p>“That's not what I said!” Tubbo said, his voice cracked and he squeaked once again. “But those are some very big words from somebody who is holding me for ransom for some stupid discs!”</p><p>“That’s not the same!” </p><p>“NO IT'S NOT,” Tubbo screeched. “Because not having some discs means you can’t listen to some funky tunes! BRINGING L’MANBURG TO WAR ON THE OTHER HAND!! People could die. You could die!”</p><p>“I already almost did,” Tommy said. “I heard you even held a funeral. You must have been glad to have been rid of me.”</p><p>“Tommy... “ Tubbo rubbed his cheek. “Of course not.” He squeaked again. “I cried so many tears for you… look.” He was crying and his face was shiny with glittering tears.</p><p>Tommy didn’t say anything. Instead he sank down so he was lying on the ground. His hair became wet from the water pools he was now lying in. He stared at Tubbo’s shoes with a stoic face. </p><p>Tubbo sighed as he let his body go limp against the wall. He slumped until he slid down so he was lying next to Tommy.  He curled in on himself and tugged at his blanket multiple times. He stared at the ceiling. </p><p>The damp of their breaths floated through the room and mingled with each other. Outside, the weather roared loudly and aggressive cold air whirled itself inside.</p><p>Tommy followed Tubbo’s gaze and spread out his fingers. “At least the ceiling’s very pretty,” he said. The ceiling was grey and stale, it had multiple cracks in it. Icicles were spread out across the ceiling, like knives looking down on their target, waiting for the right moment to attack.</p><p>Tubbo chuckled and shifted to his side to look at Tommy. “You’ll get icicles in your hair like that,” Tubbo whispered against the water. I could see the water rumpling and softly splash against Tommy’s ear. Then, barely audible, he said: “If I give you the disc… Will you let me go?”</p><p>Tommy inhaled deeply.</p><p>Tubbo let his lips quirk up slightly. “I didn’t catch that.”</p><p>Tommy sat up. “I didn’t throw anything,” he said. “I’ll have to talk to Techno about it, but I think so.” He smiled and shook the water out of his hair like a dog. “Yes.”</p><p>Tubbo watched him from the ground. “The disc is in my coat,” he said. “The blue one. In the corner,” he gestured vaguely. “I took it off because it got wet.”</p><p>Tommy walked to the corner and picked up the coat. He reached into the pocket to retrieve a glittery purple disc. “Mellohi,” he said, completely in awe. He turned around to face the door and reached out for the doorknob.</p><p>“It’s nice to know that my life is worth as much as one disc.”</p><p>Tommy tugged open the door. “Don’t you get it?” He said. “The discs,” he continued and his voice echoed through the room. “The discs were worth more than you ever were!” He stepped through the door and slammed it behind him. The impact from the door made the room shake. The icicles on the ceiling broke, one by one, and rained down unto Tubbo. One scraped his cheek and left a bloodtrail that seeped into his mutton chops. </p><p>Tubbo stilled, staring at the door that Tommy had just left through. I couldn’t even hear him breathe.</p><p>“Don’t let him get you down,” I spoke. “He’s a moron anyways.” </p><p>Tubbo’s body convulsed and he grabbed at his chest. Gasping while he sat up and in all the sudden movement his blanket slipped off. </p><p>“Look at you,” I said and I felt my body materialize. “Beautiful boy.”</p><p>He looked at me with wide eyes. “Ghostbur! What-” </p><p>“I’m not him,” I said and I laughed, as if the idea was despicable. Which it was, honestly. </p><p>“Wilbur?”</p><p>“Oh prime no.” I shook my head. “Don't tell me you've forgotten again. How terrible of a father must I have been for you not to recognize me.”</p><p>Tubbo gaped comically. He looked like a deer caught in headlights, if the deer was imitating a fish.</p><p>“Come here,” I said and smiled as widely as I permitted myself on a good day.</p><p>“Uhm-”</p><p>“I said,” I tutted. “Come here. Give me a hug.”</p><p>Tubbo slowly walked towards me, clearly at loss for what to do. He reached behind my back and lightly touched the small of my back. </p><p>I pulled him closer to me, so our chests were flushed together. He tensed up completely. I raked one hand through his hair and circled the skin around his horns with my finger. “You’re not going to be able to leave,” I said. “Ghostbur overheard Techno talking to himself about it, apparently he has voices in his head.” Tubbo tried to take a step back but I tightened my grip on his waist. “And since I’m stuck in his stupid body, you could say I also overheard.” </p><p>I waited for Tubbo to react, but he didn’t, so I just held him close to me until he gave up resisting. Once he had relaxed against me, I grabbed a hold of his horns.</p><p>“So, these beautiful babies aren’t just for decoration. They’re strong.” I picked him up by the horns and turned him around. “And you could probably detach those bars there, just saying.” I looked at the little window leading to the outside. “Once they’re gone, you could easily climb through it. You’re so tiny.”</p><p>He walked to the window and wiped away the snow in between the bars. Then he looked at me with some very present confusion on his face.</p><p>“See, I would have done it for you, but I’m a ghost so.” I laughed at my own joke. “I’ll show you.” I mimicked the motion of mounting my horns towards the iron bars. “If you do that with enough impact you should be able to dismount them.”</p><p>“Are you sure?” </p><p>“Of course! I’m not going to let you look like a moron… That’s their job.” I vaguely waved in the direction of the door. “Now be quick.”</p><p>He aligned his horns with the bars and walked backwards. “Here I go…” He pranced forward and crashed his horns into them, but they didn’t budge. </p><p>“You need to come from below a bit more,” I said and pushed his head a bit lower. “Like so.” </p><p>He tried again, this time the bars made a sickening crunching sound that made me cover my ears, but the bars still didn’t loosen. He immediately tried again, ramming into it even harder. He did it again, again and again. The bars stayed. </p><p>His face fell and he panted. “I can’t do it,” he said. “I’m... ,” he searched my face. “I’m sorry.”<br/>“I heard you’re president,” I said. Looking anywhere but at him. “Just like your old man, right?” Then I looked at him and my chest swelled with pride. He was a mess, his eyes were bloodshot and so red that they matched the blood that had dried up in his facial hair. He looked exhausted from all the exertion. His horns were slightly scuffed at the top. “You look just like me too,” I continued and I pinched his side. “You’re a Schlatt, through and through, and we don’t give up that easily.” </p><p>“I suppose,” he said. “That I could. I suppose that I could try again,” he bit the inside of his cheek. “But I’m tired and my horns are sore.” </p><p>“You shouldn’t let that stop you. Don’t you want to go home?”</p><p>“Okay?” </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>He stood as far away from the window as possible. Without warning he ran at it, jumping into the bars from under when he got close to it. His horns caught in the bars and I heard that crunch again, but this time it was followed by a clang as the bars were flung outside. Tubbo’s head and shoulders shot through the window sill and his chest collided with the wall.</p><p>“I told you you could do it kid.”</p><p>“I did it?” He sounded slightly dazed.</p><p>“You did it.” I carefully pulled him back so he wasn’t stuck in the window. “Now go. Make sure to sneak inside and get a coat to stay warm. Then immediately head for L’Manburg, got it?”</p><p>“I will,” Tubbo said. “I’ll get Dream to come here and fix-” he looked down at himself “whatever this is.”</p><p>I nodded at that.</p><p>He climbed into the window sill and shivered at the wind that was now directly hitting him. He turned around and looked at me. “Goodbye,” he said.<br/>“Goodbye,” I said and I felt tears pool in my eyes, but I blinked until they went away. “I’ve missed you so much.”</p><p>“Uhm-” he said. He then reached out to pat my head twice, very softly, it felt quite nice. “Thanks.” He brought his hand back “Dad.” </p><p>He slipped through the window and I could hear his landing being softened by the snow. My hand automatically traveled to where he had touched my head. I hoped he would be alright.</p><p>I knew he would be, alright, that is. After all, he had proven he didn’t need me a long time ago.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. A Story of Turning Around</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dream pays a visit to the Technoblade household and gives a speech that is definitely not meant for Tommy. Tommy freaks out after hearing this and decides he should let Tubbo free.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm in class right now. Posting this is kind of dangerous but I don't care BUT because I possibly risked my life for this you should give me support by leaving a Kudo or a Comment!!!</p><p>I don't remember writing this chapter at all, but it exists, so enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So what you’re saying is… we’re gonna keep Tubbo locked up here until he gives us everything we want?”</p><p>“That’s exactly what I’m saying. I am very proud of your newfound ability to understand words.”</p><p>“Isn’t that…”</p><p>“Look Tommy, these people have done you wrong. I believe in full reciprocity, we’re allowed to do a lot worse.”<br/>“That we can doesn’t mean we should. I don’t think it’s fair to Tubbo. I already said yes.”</p><p>“Well you should have asked me first.”</p><p>“You can’t just decide everything!”</p><p>“I’m the eldest!”</p><p>“By three minutes! And Ghostbur would agree with me!”</p><p>I looked up. “I’m not even part of this discussion, but I can contribute if you want!”</p><p>“No!” Techno said. “I’m sorry Tommy, but I need my weapons. This decision is final.”</p><p>“I hate you,” Tommy muttered. </p><p>“Don’t be mean,” I said. “I’m sure we’re all doing our best!”</p><p>Techno grunted. He was sitting on the stairs, his cape was unclasped and lay beside him and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. A long thin scar traveled from his hand to where it disappeared under his sleeve. </p><p>Footsteps were slowly approaching the house. I didn’t recognize them but they were very quick and barely audible as they crunched through the snow. As if their steps were calculated beforehand. </p><p>“Someone’s coming,” I said, because the person outside surely couldn’t have another destination. Out here there were only frozen lands with metres of snow, unless they wanted to build a giant snowman out of that.</p><p>Techno stood up and grabbed his cape. “Can’t a guy retire in peace,” he said, mostly to himself, as he struggled to put the cape around his shoulders. “Stay back,” he said to us. “If it’s needed, hide in the box.”</p><p>He walked to the door and opened it before the person outside could even knock. “What do you want,” he said. <br/>“I know Tommy’s with you.”</p><p>“That’s interesting. I don’t know where you got that information from but they’re wrong. I haven’t seen him in a while. How is he? Have you found him yet?”</p><p>“Don’t play with me,” the person said and I suddenly identified them as Dream. A chill spread over my back. “Let me in.”</p><p>“No,” Techno said. “No, I don’t think I will.”</p><p>Dream didn’t react for a while. I saw Tommy reaching for my hand but passing through it and wincing. </p><p>“Okay,” Dream said then. “Can I at least ask why you kidnapped the president of L’Manberg?” </p><p>“He has my weapons,” Techno said. “Also, I didn’t do that.” </p><p>“Of course not.” I could hear Dream smiling. “Let me tell you something.  Just… friendly conversation you know.”</p><p>“Okay, but hurry up. It’s cold and I would like to stop talking to you as soon as possible.”</p><p>“You seem to be under the impression that minor terrorism is not a big deal. In fact, you seem to think that is an effective means to achieve your ends. But please note, It’s not your fear mongering that makes a government weaker. Its tragedy. Tommy’s death struck L’Manberg people with grief and that tragedy is why it’s falling apart. Do you really want-”</p><p>“It’s way too early for villain monologues, can you come back later today?” Techno looked at his bare wrist like he was wearing a watch. “In about five hours?”</p><p>“Excuse me?”</p><p>“Thanks for understanding.” Techno smiled and bared his teeth. “Have a good day.” He closed the door in Dream’s face. He walked towards us and he started laughing. “What a fucking idiot.” </p><p>“That’s not nice!” I said but I felt giddy anyways. </p><p>“It’s Dream he’s a- what was it you said yesterday Tommy? A bag of dicks?” Techno laughed at himself and he kicked off his shoes. “Right Tommy?” He whirled around to look at him. “Tommy?”</p><p>Tommy’s head was buried in his hands. A loud sob escaped his throat.</p><p>“Oh Theseus,” Techno said, his voice suddenly soft.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Tommy bawled. “Dream-” he choked on his voice and started coughing. </p><p>Techno slapped him on the back, but Tommy just started sobbing louder. “911, the child is crying. I need assistance.” He knelt down in front of Tommy and wrapped his cape around him. “You’re alright,” he rubbed Tommy’s back. “You’re alright. Sssshhh.”</p><p>I sat down next to Tommy and crawled my way into the cape to wrap my arms around him. “It’s okay.” I patted his hair. “There are no terrorists here, don’t worry.”</p><p>“That’s not,” Tommy said.</p><p>Techno was still crouched in front of him and he laid his hand on Tommy’s knee.“I’ve said this before Tommy,” he said. “Dream can’t hurt you while I’m here. I promise.”</p><p>Tommy shook his head. “I know.” He snuggled his face into my chest, it almost felt like I was alive again. “It’s-” he sighed. “I tried so hard not to become like everyone that I didn’t want to be and I just realized; I’m not as terrible as them. I’m worse.”</p><p>“How so?” Techno asked.</p><p>“You heard Dream. We’re terrorists. I lied to him so I could do right but I just became horrible. MY BEST FRIEND IS BEING HELD PRISON BY US!” The last sentence was said so loudly that it echoed through the room.</p><p>“When your destination will make you a saint you’re allowed a little sin on the way. A little sin as a treat,” Techno said. “From god.”</p><p>“I’m an atheist.”</p><p>“So am I.”</p><p>“That doesn’t make any sense then!” Tommy cried and he wiped his tears away. “Wasn’t I supposed to be a hero? Theseus and all that? Why are you making me do bad things?”</p><p>“I’m not MAKING you do anything. But, Theseus, you’ve got to understand. The most flawed beings in a society are heroes, no one else is crazy enough to be one.” Techno stood up. “Think that over.” He messed with some of the buttons on his girdle before looking up again. He sought out my eyes and then quickly flicked his eyes to Tommy. I nodded at him. He then walked over to the staircase and caught his hand on the railing. “I need- well you get it.” </p><p>I focused on Tommy again and stroked his hair a few times. I revelled in the feeling and to prolong it I pushed our cheeks together, but he swatted me off. I looked to the staircase where Techno had disappeared upstairs and I listened to the water starting to run above us.</p><p>“Well Tommy. For what it’s worth. I don’t think you’re a bad person at all!”</p><p>He sighed. “Thank you, Ghostbur.” </p><p>“He always knew you would be better than the two of us combined. You’re destined to be a hero. He knew that since you were still so tiny. I didn’t from the start,” I smiled at him. “But I do now. Dad does too.”</p><p>He hummed and let his head fall unto my shoulder. </p><p>“Even if you’re not a hero. I’ll still love you, they will too.” I let a silence fall. “I’ve read the history books Tommy, I know I’m a villain. But I’m still loved… I hope.”</p><p>“You are.”</p><p>“That’s very kind of you Tommy.”</p><p>He suddenly sat up. “We should free Tubbo.” </p><p>“But- Didn’t Techno say we couldn’t?”</p><p>He was already walking to the closet that the door to the prison was hidden behind. “Techno doesn’t have to know.” He gripped his fingers around the side of the closet. “So are you in or not?”</p><p>“You’re crazy,” I said and I couldn’t stop myself from marvelling. “But like good crazy! You’re good crazy.”</p><p>“Of course. Of course.” He pulled away the closet as silently as possible as not to disturb Techno. Slowly the door behind it revealed itself. He went to open it but looked at me first. I nodded slightly.</p><p>He messed with the lock for a bit and eventually opened the door. </p><p>I stood next to him as he stepped inside and I stood next to him as he looked around. I stood next to him as he realized that Tubbo wasn’t there. The room was empty.</p><p>“How?”</p><p>“Look at the window sill.”</p><p>“How? Did he suddenly go and grow some big muscles? Those are some thick bars!”</p><p>“I don’t know,” I muttered, but I had a feeling that I did. Somewhere in my mind, like a little corner tucked away not to think about it. I shook my head, I hadn’t been in here since the first night Tubbo was here.</p><p>“Why is it that when I decide to help him he’s suddenly gone off on his own?”  </p><p>“Goddammit. I really wanted to hug him,” he stared at his shoes. “I’m just gonna take a bath then I think.”</p><p>“I’m pretty sure Techno is already in the bath. I heard the water running.”</p><p>"MOTHERFUCKER!"</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. A Story of Technoblade</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Technoblade wasn't always like this. Ghostbur recalls how he was before and is faced with how he is now.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As a little boy I had always liked to roam around. To play pretend on wide plain fields. I would go to the muddiest pool that I could find and I would act out my last actions as a brave soldier, as a cunning villain or a dreamy girl who couldn’t be saved by her hero. I liked to go down fighting and I would drag Techno to go with me, he never wanted to, but he would cave if I asked him enough. </p><p>Techno had to play my opponent, had to play the one who would lead to my demise. </p><p>Techno didn’t like to fight. He liked potatoes and books and he would take those with him. He would have so many books clutched under his arms in a way I could never seem to achieve. Then we would finally arrive at my muddy puddles and he would sit down. He didn’t fight, he read his books and occasionally would make a sarcastic remark if my wooden sword zoomed too close by his ear.  </p><p>I hated that he didn’t want to play out fights with me. He would refuse to even touch a sword. And I hated that Phil always had to take over his role, back when I could still call him dad. </p><p>When he started to like to fight, I hated it even more.</p><p>I had almost died. I didn’t know at the time, didn’t know what death felt like, but after experiencing death I knew I had never been as close to death as I had been that day.</p><p>One day, Technoblade had sat in that muddy puddle. He had suddenly stood up and grabbed my arm. I remembered him being pale, almost sickly, and the colour bursting into his face all at once as he tugged my arm behind my back. He had wrestled my sword out of my hands and held it high up in front of him, the blade downwards.</p><p>He’d looked at me and he had pointed the sword into my stomach. “Blood for the Blood God,” he’d whispered and he pierced the sword through my stomach. </p><p>His lust for blood seemed to become stronger every day, ever since that day.</p><p>Much later, when I was deemed old enough to understand, I knew it hadn’t been him, not really. “He has voices in his head,” they whispered around me. “He’s a freak,” they said where they thought I couldn’t hear.</p><p>“It’s almost like music, like a song you have in your head,” Techno said to me on a hot summer’s night. We were tangled together in the sheets and so so sweaty. A sweat that I wouldn’t comment on, because I knew the sweat came from nightmares. “But you have thousands of songs in your head at the same time and they aren’t really songs; they’re cacophonies.” </p><p>His breath was hot against my neck and I grabbed him close to me. Thank you. Said my arms wrapped around him tightly. Thank you for telling me. </p><p>“He can’t help it,” Phil said to me. “He can’t control them all the time. It would probably kill him.” And the silence that followed was so harsh that I knew that Techno hadn’t been on vacation that one time. When he had disappeared and everytime I would ask for him I would receive the same answer. “Don’t worry about it.” </p><p>Don’t worry about it. I heard that so many times, and it only made me worry more. Because I knew what it really meant. “Something bad is happening, but it’s not for me to know it.” And I chanted it under my breath so many times, until I believed that it was best for me not to know.</p><p>I wished I knew. I wished I knew what happened every time he went away. I wished I knew if the blood dried up in his hair was his or not. I wished I knew how to help.</p><p>I saw him sprawled on the bed but when I looked down at myself I didn’t see myself. I saw the floor, made from big clunky wooden planks and I saw a masterfully woven tapestry which would probably feel soft to my feet if I had those currently.</p><p>I was in the present, I knew, because Phil walked straight through me and sat down on the end of the bed.</p><p>Techno turned his back towards us. Phil didn’t come closer. “E,” Techno said. He said it in such a low voice that I was indistinguishable from a groan, but I knew that it wasn’t. “E,” he said again. </p><p>“When they become too loud, I have to say them aloud,” I felt the voice drift against my skin into my ear. “Else they become unbearable.” Techno’s voice was a squeak before he went through puberty. It ringed through my ears because of how close he was. “Some of them are too terrible to even speak, but I have to say something.” Hot tears dripped down my neck. “They like to say E a lot so when I can’t say the other voices, I just have to repeat that.”</p><p>“E,” I heard again and it was loud this time. It came from under the pile of silky dressing robe on the bed which Techno had hidden himself under. Only his still wet hair peeking out from under it.</p><p>“E,” Phil repeated to Techno, but gently. “E.” And he scooted closer to Techno. </p><p>“E,” Techno said. “Go, E, away.”</p><p>Phil shook his head and his hair fell in front of his face. “I know you hate it, but it helps.” He held his head sideways so he could peek out from under his hair. “You can tell me.” Then as an afterthought: “E.”</p><p>“E,” Techno repeated back to him. “E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E-” I heard his voice break.</p><p>“E,” Phil said and it sounded like reassurance.</p><p>“E,” I said and it sounded like a lullaby.</p><p>Techno looked up. “Ghostbur.” He reached for me.</p><p>I let myself be pulled. Pulled to him, pulled in him even when I felt his arm go through me. His hand grabbed at the place where my heart would have been and for a split second I felt him. </p><p>“Tommy!” He screamed, but it was not his voice. “Look out!” He said in another. “The cliff,” he whispered and he sounded like a little girl. “Farewell, Theseus,” he said in a low gravelly voice. “DON’T DO IT,” screamed another. </p><p>I shuddered and it hurt me. The voices rang through my head, they made me want to close my eyes and never open them again. A never ending shriek of E echoed through my skull and I was met with a headache that made me dizzy. I thought of how it felt like I was dying again and it was a giddy feeling that made me think of Friend and the sky. It felt like Blue, ebbing through my fingertips. </p><p>I opened my eyes and I saw Techno looking at me still. “I wanted to hurt him,” he said. “That’s why I left.”</p><p>I didn’t have to look at Phil to know his gaze had softened.</p><p>“Water feels like blood, almost,” Techno said. “It’s less thick and it doesn’t taste as good.” He sounded ashamed. “But it’s almost a substitute.” He sighed. “Not enough.” He opened his robe and let the silk pool next to him, his shirt rode up and it showed scratch marks on his stomach, all over his ribs. </p><p>Phil seemed to grab a first aid kit out of thin air and he started applying bandages almost immediately. “Oh Techno,” he whispered and he kept repeating it. </p><p>Techno tilted his head backwards and I moved to get the hair out of his face, stroking his head in the process. I tenderly took off his glasses. </p><p>“E,” Techno said. He pushed up his hips so Phil could cover his ribs in bandages. “E,” he said when he laid them down again.</p><p>“Techno,” I said, but he didn’t hear me. </p><p>“That should stop the bleeding at least,” Phil said, admiring his handiwork. “And it’s disinfected now.” </p><p>“Next time,” I said and he must have heard me this time. “Next time, I want you to hurt me.” I waved my hands around dramatically. “I’m already dead, so it wouldn’t matter.”</p><p>Techno simply stared at me and Phil didn’t react to what I said at all.</p><p>“Did you hear what I said? Hurt me. It-”</p><p>Techno wiped his eyes. “I can’t Wilbur.” He looked at my stomach.<br/>
Under my yellow sweater was a deep gash, a hole even. Where Phil’s sword had torn through my flesh when he killed me, Techno didn’t mean that particular incident. Phil had known where to strike because of a scar on my stomach, a scar from a wound that would have been fatal if the weapon hadn’t been wooden. The first wound that Techno had ever inflicted. </p><p>“I don’t care,” I said. “That’s in the past, it wasn’t your fault. I don’t mind, really.”</p><p>“I do,” Techno murmured, who had decided to tuck himself into his robe again. He nuzzled his cheek against the fur lining. </p><p>I wanted to say many things. Protest most of all, but Phil looked at me in a way I knew meant that I shouldn’t. </p><p>“Ghostbur,” he said. “Don’t worry about it.” He leaned over and his pyjama shirt  gapped to the left. It revealed a creamy white wing tucked against his back.</p><p>I bit the inside of my cheek and I nodded.</p><p>The door creaked open and the light from Techno’s bedroom bled to the hallway, where Tommy stood. He was wearing a shirt that was way too big for him that fell to his mid thighs, his hair was messy and his feet stood out as they were covered in pink fluffy slippers. “Techno?” He said. He was hunched over and it made him look small in the tall doorway. “I wanted to apologize, I guess.”</p><p>Techno grunted and he hid himself behind Phil. Clawing his hands into his sides. </p><p>Tommy stepped inside, his eyes lit up with recognition. “Are you having a sleepover without me?” He laughed at himself. </p><p>“EEEEEE!” Techno screamed and I could tell he had surprised himself by it. Phil winced as Techno’s grip in his sides, and wings, tightened.</p><p>I quickly stood up and hurried over to Tommy. I laid my hand on the small of his back. “Now is not a good time, Tommy!” I pushed him out the room and closed the door behind us. “Let’s just chat!” I pulled on his arm and started walking to his bedroom.</p><p>“What’s going on?” Tommy asked. </p><p>“Nothing,” I said. Too quickly.</p><p>“I’m not stupid.” Tommy shoved me off. “I can tell something’s wrong.” He reminded me of myself. Defiant. Determined to get answers. “Tell me.”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it,” I said. I squeezed his hand and it meant 'sorry'. </p><p>He pulled his hand away and it meant 'fuck off' and I laughed at that. “Sleep tight!” I grabbed his blankets so I could tuck him in. He climbed into his bed automatically. “Don’t let the bed bugs bite!” I pulled the blankets up to his chin.</p><p>“Right,” Tommy said.</p><p>I switched off the light. At least I couldn’t see him in the dark. I couldn’t see how he reminded me of a teenager with big dreams and hopes and a need inside himself to prove himself worthy. A teenager that I had been, once.</p><p>I didn’t want him to be like me. I didn’t want him to become a failure. I had never managed to be worthy of anything. </p><p>“You’re worthy, Tommy,” I whispered, but I knew he couldn’t have heard. That was okay, because I didn’t want to tell him, I wanted to tell the dark. So when he needed it most, in his darkest place, the dark would whisper to him. The dark would tell him what he always wanted to hear. The dark I knew so well.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I personally really like this chapter so I hope you did too! </p><p>Leave a Kudo or Comment if you enjoyed!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. A Story of Honesty</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tubbo makes an announcement to the citizens of L'Manburg.</p><p>Featuring domestic Ranboo and Tubbo because I love their dynamic but couldn't properly work it into this fic so... Have crumbs that I put in when I rewrote this.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He tightly gripped Ranboo’s hand. “I think I’m gonna do it today,” he croaked. </p><p>“Are you sure?” Ranboo asked, the concern clear in his voice. “You’re feeling better then?” He pressed his hand against Tubbo’s forehead, feeling the heat radiating off it. </p><p>Tubbo snottered. He had gotten very ill once he had finally returned to his White House. He had felt warmth surrounding his body when he slept at night and he could finally relax fully. “I don’t think I’ll ever feel more ready than I do now.”</p><p>“You still have a fever,” Ranboo said. “And you look kinda...  rough.”</p><p>He was right. Tubbo’s hair stuck to his forehead that glistened with sweat. His clothes were rumpled and his cheeks were flushed. His mutton chops had grown out even more. </p><p>“You think you can manage to shower?” Ranboo said sweetly. </p><p>Tubbo nodded and let himself be pulled up and led to the bathroom. Ranboo grabbed him a towel and pushed him through the door.</p><p>“Call for me when you’re done, okay?” He let go of Tubbo’s hand after squeezing it one last time. “I’m going to try and find a razor.” He looked at Tubbo’s hair that fell into his eyes. “And maybe some scissors.”</p><p>“Okay,” Tubbo said, slightly dazed. I heard the shower turn on not much later. I imagined how the warm water must feel drizzling down on him. Eventually I heard him call for Ranboo, who almost instantly appeared.</p><p>He knocked on the door twice. “Can I come in?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Tubbo called from inside. Ranboo pushed down the door handle. Tubbo stood in the middle of the bathroom, in a white t-shirt and dress pants. His hair slicked against his neck now that it was wet and dripped down into his t-shirt. His skin looked rosy, probably from scrubbing off all the dirt. </p><p>Ranboo put down all he was holding on the sink. He pushed Tubbo onto a stool and rubbed a towel through his hair, which he then laid around his shoulders. He grabbed the shaving cream and squirted it onto his hand. “Have you shaved before?” </p><p>Tubbo shook his head. “Never needed to.” </p><p>“Do you want me to do it for you?”</p><p>“Please.”</p><p>Ranboo applied the shaving cream to Tubbo’s cheeks and jawline. He held up the razor and carefully grabbed Tubbo’s face. “Just hold still.” He shaved away the mutton chops and the beginnings of a moustache above Tubbo’s lips. Then, he wiped away the excess cream with a cloth. </p><p>Tubbo patted his hands against his cheeks. He looked at the scissors lying in the sink. “Are you going to cut my hair?” </p><p>Ranboo exhaled. “If you want me to, yeah.” He smiled at Tubbo through the mirror, Tubbo tentatively smiled back. “I’m not very good at it, but I have done it before.”</p><p>“I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Tubbo said. </p><p>Ranboo combed his fingers through Tubbo’s hair and parted it so he could cut it evenly.  He carefully avoided where Tubbo’s horns peeked out. </p><p>“How do you think they’ll react?”</p><p>“To what?”</p><p>“You know... ” Tubbo didn’t say it out loud but they both knew what he meant. Ranboo cut the hairs around the horns shorter.</p><p>“Are you going to tell them?” He stroked Tubbo’s hair behind his ears.</p><p>“Either I tell them or the rumour mill will. I’d rather go with the first option.”</p><p>“I don’t know how they’ll react,” Ranboo mused. “Personally, I don’t care. You’re still the same person as you were before you know? But I also never knew Schlatt. For me, you’re the only president L’Manberg has ever had.”</p><p>“Bit of a shit president ain’t I?”</p><p>“Don’t say that.” Ranboo cut his fringe with two snips. “I think you’re great. And you’re going to set things right today.”</p><p>“Right..” Tubbo stared off into the mirror. </p><p>“I’m done.” Ranboo combed through his hair one last time. “What do you think?”</p><p>“It’s- Thank you.” Tubbo said sheepishly. His hair was cut a bit choppy, but it looked good.</p><p>“No problem!” Ranboo chirped. He grabbed a dress shirt and hoisted Tubbo’s arms into it. He tried to button it up, but Tubbo swatted his hands away.</p><p>“I can do that myself, Ranboo.”</p><p>“Sorry.”</p><p>Tubbo put on his suit jacket. He grabbed a green tie and held it in his hand for a second, then he handed it to Ranboo. Who dutifully started tying it around Tubbo’s neck. </p><p>“Ranboo,” Tubbo said, he sounded as if his throat had turned dry. “Will you be there when I tell them?”</p><p>Ranboo looked up. His gaze was weirdly intense. “Of course.” He finished tying the tie. “Ready?”</p><p>“Ready as I’ll ever be.”</p><p>They were at the podium not much later and a crowd had already gathered. Expectantly awaiting Tubbo’s words. I could already hear them whisper about the horns.</p><p>Ranboo handed Tubbo a microphone. He smiled at him and squeezed his shoulder before going to stand behind him. Tubbo turned on the microphone and the feedback whined through the speakers. He shook slightly and raised the microphone to his mouth. I heard him swallow before he began to speak.</p><p>“Dearest Citizens of L’Manberg,” Tubbo said. “I have gathered you all here today to make two announcements, but I want to start with explaining my absence for the past weeks. I… involuntarily went away and when I got back I got really ill. And even before I went away I was dealing with some… issues that I will later get back on.”</p><p>“Since I exiled Tommy I have spent many hours pondering over that decision. Did I do the right thing? And the more time I spent thinking the less I thought so. Then the news of Tommy’s death reached us and I was sure that it hadn’t been.” He coughed.</p><p>“While I was away I discovered that Tommy is not dead. In fact, he is very much alive and currently residing with his family. I don’t know how such a drastic miscommunication could have happened, but I am glad that it was and that he isn’t really dead.”</p><p>“I’ve changed my mind over time and that’s why I have decided to revoke Tommy’s exile.” He left a pause and gasps went through the audience. “As a nation we are supposed to protect our citizens and not alienate them. Especially not someone like Tommy, who played a major role in our founding. Right now, after all our country has gone through, we need to be whole. We need to stand together.”</p><p>“I recognize that this is a mistake that has cost and scarred us a lot and I apologize. I shouldn’t have exiled Tommy in the first place, but that is why I’m now revoking it. Is that clear for everyone?” Tubbo quickly let his eyes flit over the crowd, but before anyone could speak he raised the microphone to his mouth again.</p><p>“Then for my second announcement, I have something more… personal to tell all of you. Something that took up my mind even before I went away. I’m sure all of you have already noticed my change in appearance and I assure you that I was just as shocked as all of you are, and will be.”</p><p>He took a deep breath, right into the microphone. “I recently discovered that I am Schlatt’s biological son.”</p><p>He gave the crowd time to roar and looked back at Ranboo. I saw his eyes roll up in his skull and he stumbled backwards. Ranboo quickly grabbed him by the waist to keep him upright.</p><p>“I’m here,” Ranboo said and Tubbo softly hummed as he fell into him. He quickly grabbed the microphone out of Tubbo’s hand before the feedback could ring. “Could everyone please keep order?”</p><p>The crowd stilled slightly, now all expecting him to say something.</p><p>“Sorry, the president still has a fever,” Ranboo muttered. “But he insisted on speeching anyway. I do want to tell you all, that this shouldn’t change anything. He is still the same person as before and he aspires to be nothing like his father. I hope you’ll all understand.”</p><p>People bow their heads, I can’t tell if they do, understand, that is.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. A Story of (not) Talking About It</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tommy goes back to L'Manberg for the first time since exile where he meets with Tubbo. They talk, but also don't at the same time.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A lantern was pressed between his thighs, it pressed against his pyjama pants and I knew he must have been able to feel the warmth through it. A warmth that could leave smooth blisters on the inside of his thighs if he didn't look out. Tommy's legs were too tall and gangly for the rest of his body so they were awkwardly folded underneath him. He sat at the top of the stairs, his back hunched over and his hands hovering above the lamp. </p><p>It was quiet in the house. It meant no one was sleeping, snores would have roamed through the house and would have kept it buzzing. It meant no one was awake, there was no loud boisterous laughter to be heard and make the house lively. </p><p>Tommy cursed and blew on his finger. He was being held captive by the tension that had set its sights on their house. The same tension that kept Phil awake in the other room, staring endlessly at the ceiling. The tension that had seen the gap that Techno's absence had left and seized full opportunity, seizing it's way inside and constricting itself around all of us. It made us gasp for air as we choked on our worries.</p><p>Tommy had once learned to play the flute. The idea being he could play a melody and one of us could hear and know something was amiss or alright. The flute was also an opportunity to annoy anyone in the area if played badly and it was quickly confiscated from the knobbly hands of a ten year old. </p><p>Tommy put his hot fingers in his mouth and blew on them, trying desperately to play a melody and cool them down at the same time. It didn't produce a sound. </p><p>This was worrying. It could be found in the eyebags he would have in the morning and all the words he thought about before saying them. This was caring. Worrying about a brother of which he didn’t know if he would do the same if the roles were reversed. </p><p>Phil cared by not caring. His oldest child was an adult, mentally challenged maybe but independent. He had survived arenas, wars and his own failures. He would be alright. </p><p>His youngest child tried to distance himself as soon as he could. As soon as he could run he ran as far away as he could. Phil didn't search for him, but waited if he would return. </p><p>He did. He always did. A knock was heard on the door</p><p>"What's the matter?" Phil said, sitting halfway up in his bed.</p><p>"Do you have some ice? I burned my finger…" </p><p>Phil chuckled, but not loudly enough to be heard through the door. "There's enough ice outside. Why don't you go for a walk? See L'Manberg maybe? Now that you can again."</p><p>"Alone?" Tommy mumbled. "And it's nighttime. No one will notice!" He was speaking louder again. "I wanted to have this big return you know." </p><p>“It will be nicer in the quiet,” Phil said. “Trust me.”</p><p>Tommy didn’t answer but the sound of feet shuffling away was answer enough. Phil smiled to himself and laid himself back down in his sheets. Tommy tended to do things the wrong way around. He learned to shout before he could talk and he ran before he could walk. He got up before he could fall off that pillar back in Logstedshire. Tommy did before he asked, but not this time, and that was a thought worth falling asleep over.</p><p>I followed Tommy to L’Manberg. He kept the lantern in one hand and dragged his other hand through the snow as he walked to cool down the burned finger. He twirled his finger around some and left a trail of crude symbols in the snow. </p><p>L’Manberg was slumbering as most of her lights were out. Tommy watched from a distance as he got closer, his breath was slightly hitchy. He had taken off his coat and thrown it over his shoulder, it was still cold here but considerably less than it was at Techno’s house. </p><p>Tommy started running. I thought he would go to his own house but before I knew it we were at Tubbo’s doorstep. Tommy had already ringed the bell before I arrived and I could see him regretting this decision when he kept on hopping from one foot to another. </p><p>The door opened after a few painstaking minutes full of waiting. Tubbo was clad in a bathrobe, he looked lots better than the last time I’d seen him. “Tommy?” He said. </p><p>“Tubbo,” Tommy laughed. “You’ve shaved.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Tubbo said and he looked somewhere behind Tommy. “Do- Do you want to come in?”</p><p>Tommy wiped his shoes on the doormat and stepped inside, careful not to brush against Tubbo. Once he was inside he threw his jacket over a chair and he jumped on the couch. It was a soft couch and you would sink into it when you sat, in the middle there was a loose spring that stung in your back when you rolled over it a certain way. That spring stung me multiple times when I spent my first night here, drinking a bottle of wine and relishing in my success of becoming president, the fact that I was never technically elected stinging in my back.  </p><p>Tommy started to snotter and I couldn’t tell if it was because of the sudden warmth flowing through his nose or if it was a response to seeing Tubbo. Who took a stack of papers from the table and shoved them away in a drawer. </p><p>Tommy spoke up first. “I like what you’ve done with the place.” He was talking about a life size portrait on the wall. When first moving in here Tommy and Tubbo had stormed in excited and it was the first thing they had taken down. Schlatt was painted from a lower angle, making him seem to tower over anyone that looked at it. Tubbo must have hung it up again.</p><p>“It's the only thing I have from him,” Tubbo mumbled. “It makes me really uncomfortable but I need to have something familiar.” He went to stand behind Tommy, his hands gripping the couch tightly.</p><p>Tommy circled a wine stain with his finger, I didn’t know if it was mine. </p><p>“How’s the family?” Tubbo asked. </p><p>“Uhh,” Tommy started and I thought of Techno leaving, his cheeks flushed pink from the cold, and I thought of Phil squeezing his shoulder and waving him goodbye. “Bit not good.” I thought of Tommy trying to fall asleep and shooting up straight in his bed, gasping for air.</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>“How are you?”</p><p>Tubbo sighed. “I think I’m doing alright.” He chuckled and went to sit on the arm rest of the couch. He fiddled with his hands in his lap. “Considering everything that happened.”</p><p>“I’m really sorry Tubbo. I swear I was going to let you go but I should have never kidnapped you in the first place even though I sort of had a good reason and well yeah I’m sorry.”</p><p>“It’s… not okay,” Tubbo said and he coughed. “I don’t want to talk about this. Not now.’’</p><p>Tommy backed up so he was a bit closer to Tubbo but he left a reasonable space between them as if he was scared to get burned. “The things you did also weren’t okay.”</p><p>Tubbo stared at his lap. “I don’t think we should talk about this now.” He laughed nervously. “I don’t think we get to be okay yet, not after what happened.”</p><p>Tommy opened his mouth as if to protest but then closed it again. "Okay," he eventually settled on. "Question, were you already awake when I rang?"</p><p>Tubbo nodded, clearly grateful at the change of subject, and he eagerly took this opportunity to speak with the ease with which they would talk to each other normally. "I was just doing some paperwork."</p><p> When they talked it was the most important and the least important thing at the same time. </p><p>"Doesn't that require lots of reading?"</p><p>"I don't read them," Tubbo said, as if the concept of reading was ridiculous. "I just sign them and hope I'm not dooming the country."</p><p>"That's-" Tommy pulled a face. "Probably how I would do it too."</p><p>Tubbo softly laughed, which exposed the gap in his teeth. Which I still didn't know if it was from genetics or an accident, maybe it was both. </p><p>"Breakfast," Tubbo stated, getting up and brushing off his legs. "You want some?"</p><p>Tommy softly nodded and followed Tubbo into the kitchen. He shielded Tubbo with his back as he walked, but he didn't dare come too close. </p><p>Tubbo took some pieces of bread and shoved them in the toaster. He carefully got two glasses out of the cabinet and poured orange juice in them. His hands shook throughout the motions and he spilled the orange juice to the side of the glass. </p><p>"Sorry," Tubbo mumbled. He handed Tommy one the glasses. Their fingers touched briefly and he let go so quickly that the glass almost fell to the ground. </p><p>He grabbed the other himself, the orange juice on the sides of the glass stuck to his fingers and he clumsily searched around for some wipes. </p><p>Meanwhile Tommy downed his glass in one gulp. He slightly grimaced. “It’s bitter,” he said, shaping his mouth around the lingering taste of it. He kept swallowing and he rubbed his nose. The orange juice was coming back up again, leaving an acidic taste in Tommy’s mouth and a burned tinge to his nose. The way it felt when you were going to puke.</p><p>“It’s old, I think,” Tubbo said. “I haven’t really been able to get new groceries since, you know.”</p><p>“Oh,” Tommy said dumbly.</p><p>They stared at each other, making the room go tense. Tommy took his opportunity to look at Tubbo, really look, and count the newfound cuts and scars on his face. Which would have been discreet if he didn’t softly count out loud. Tubbo looked at him oddly with a judging gaze that looked unfamiliar with his features. The ping of the toaster interrupted the moment, making both of them jump slightly.</p><p>Tubbo grabbed the bread quickly, hissing a bit at the heat. “Did you know you smell toast when you get a heart attack?”</p><p>“I guess? How is that relevant?”</p><p>“I’m just saying we could be having a heart attack right now and not notice.”</p><p>“Wouldn’t you feel shit in your chest?”</p><p>“That’s the thing,” Tubbo laughed. “I can’t tell if I’m just really nervous or if I’m dying.” He laughed again, but I didn’t understand what was so funny.</p><p>“Please don’t die on me.” Tommy thought about his answer for a bit. “That would be… not ideal.” </p><p>Tubbo spread butter out over the toast and he put one in his mouth. He handed the other one to Tommy who took a bite out of it automatically. Tubbo hummed around the toast in his mouth. </p><p>“You appear really calm though,” Tommy said.</p><p>“You do too,” Tubbo rebutted. “I know you’re not though. You’ve never been so quiet.”</p><p>Tommy didn’t respond to that.</p><p>“ We could like have a party? If you want. To celebrate your return.” Tubbo chewed loudly on his toast. </p><p>“I have to head back soon,” Tommy said. “I want to be there when Techno comes back.”</p><p>“Techno’s gone?”</p><p>“Yeah, nobody will tell me why though. Not even Ghostbur.”</p><p>“So why is he gone?” Tubbo asked.</p><p>“I think,” Tommy said ominously, but also a little bit sad. “I think his voices want to uhm kill me.” </p><p>Tubbo’s eyes widened.</p><p>“Not that he would! Or wants to!” Tommy added quickly. “Normally he won’t even let me go outside on my own, ‘cause he’s afraid I’ll trip and break my neck or something.”</p><p>“Okay,” Tubbo said. “Okay, that makes sense I guess.”</p><p>“Dad’s alone too. So I should probably get back to him,” Tommy said. “It was nice talking. The toast was good.”</p><p>“You didn’t even eat all of it!”</p><p>Tommy shook his head and started a search for his coat. Which he found somehow shoved under the couch. He wiped off the dust and put it on. His hand was already hovering over the handle of the door when Tubbo spoke again.</p><p>“I can’t believe all this happened to us.”</p><p>“I knew it would, I think,” Tommy said. “I just never thought it would be like this.” He pushed down the door handle.</p><p>“Come back soon?”</p><p>“I’ll try,” Tommy said. </p><p>A soft smile was exchanged and Tommy left. He walked as if his boots were heavier than they had ever been. Like a down pulling weight had latched itself unto them. Like all the words that hadn’t been said weighed him down.</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. A Story of Walls and Rivers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dream builds the walls around L'Manberg and Tubbo has to face the consequences, luckily Schlatt is there to help.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tubbo woke up in the afternoon. It was completely dark outside.</p><p>He stretched himself before getting up. He covered his mouth while he yawned and put on a pristine black suit and tied his green tie so tightly around his neck I thought he might choke. </p><p>Once outside I tried to look for the stars, but the night sky had turned completely black and the only light came from the street light at the side of the road. Making Tubbo’s face appear yellow as he walked past them.</p><p>A lot of people were gathered outside and Tubbo had to push himself through the crowd, avoiding the questions that were being slung at his head. I knew he didn’t know the answers. </p><p>I heard kids crying to my left. They were huddled together with their heads turned downwards. In the middle I saw Fundy stroking the back of a little girl.</p><p>"Why is it so dark." One of them cried. "We'll never get through those walls." Said another one.</p><p>I could see Tubbo pale. His gaze lingered on the group of children for too long. Long enough that Fundy noticed and shot him a dirty look. I knew he wished he could be one of those kids, that he wanted to cry with them about the unfairness of it all. He himself was still merely a kid. He didn't cry though, not even a single tear, and I couldn't help but feel proud.</p><p>"I hope you're happy," Fundy said, yelling out over the gaggle of children. "We're in a lot of trouble."</p><p>"I don't regret the decisions that I made," Tubbo stated. "And that is final."</p><p>"You shouldn't have unexiled Tommy."</p><p>"Tommy made a mistake, yes, but he has paid enough for it as it is. Besides, he is only sixteen."</p><p>"I'm fourteen Tubbo," Fundy said and I saw spit flying out his mouth. Gross. "Even I know not to do things like this." </p><p>Tubbo sighed. "I don't have time for this Fundy." </p><p>He walked past, sparing one last glance at the children as he ducked under the arm of a reporter. </p><p>“Mr. President, how are you going to resolve this issue?”</p><p>Tubbo kept his smile tight-lipped and he strutted through the crowd. He kept rubbing his sleeve and talked to it in indistinguishable whispers. He finally arrived at the centre stage, clearly taken aback by the amount of people on the streets. On the podium stood Dream, his arms spread wide and towering over the people. He quickly spotted Tubbo.</p><p>“Tubbo! How kind of you to finally join us. You’re quite late aren’t you?” </p><p>The crowd immediately parted to let Tubbo through. Who raised his head up in the air and straightened his back, but he was slightly quivering. He walked up the stairs so slowly that the crowd held their collective breaths. Once he stood on the podium he grabbed himself a microphone.</p><p>“May I ask,” Tubbo said, enunciating every vowel with his jaw. “What you think you’re doing?” </p><p>“Didn’t we agree at the start of all this? Either you would punish Tommy as I saw appropriate and exile him,” Dream said. He ran his fingers over his chin, where a slight stubble was forming. “Or I would build an obsidian wall around L’Manberg. You made your choice when you unexiled Tommy.”</p><p>“I think Tommy has been punished enough as it is.”</p><p>“I don’t think he has. He has not stopped with his dangerous behaviour, he ran away from my supervision so he could reside with a war criminal and then proceeded to kidnap you.” Dream folded his arms over each other and was probably smiling smugly under his mask. I wanted to punch him. “And not only that, he has blown up the community house. The start of this server and one of the only structures that is a part of the Greater Dream SMP. You understand that that is asking for war?”</p><p>“What do you mean? What happened?”</p><p>“I know Tommy visited you and coincidentally after he left, the community house was blown up.”</p><p>“I don’t believe you,” Tubbo said. “Tommy wouldn’t do that. I rolled my eyes.</p><p>Dream suddenly started laughing violently. “You really believe that?” He cackled into the microphone and his laugh echoed through the square. “You must be stupider than I thought.”</p><p>“What’s that supposed to mean,” Tubbo said and I could tell he was trying his best not to break eye contact.</p><p>“You’re a follower Tubbo. You’ll do anything someone tells you to do. Especially Tommy, you’re like his little lap dog. Guess what, you’re just a pawn in his game. You’re a pawn in everyone’s game. No wonder! It’s so easy to control you.”</p><p>I felt the anger swelling in my chest so that it bordered on bursting. How dare Dream suggest such a thing about my son. I cracked my knuckles, the urge of punching him had returned again, but really it had never left. Dream was just so deliciously punchable. </p><p>I zoomed towards him and zeroed in on his face. Dream didn’t even react, but I heard Tubbo gasp softly behind me. My fist went straight through Dream’s face and I felt zaps of electricity shoot through my legs as I became corporeal. I threw my head back and I breathed out light. </p><p>Dream blinked multiple times at being hit in the face by a ghost and he stared dumbly in front of him, or at least I imagined him too. I could only see his mask, smiling menacingly. “Ghostbur,” he said, standing up straight again. “What was that?”</p><p>“Not Ghostbur,” I grunted and I made sure Tubbo was behind me. “It’s Schlatt.”</p><p>Dream shook his head. “That’s ridiculous. You’re not Schlatt! He wouldn’t punch me.”</p><p>“Oh I would Dream. And I would do it again. You see what you just did there? You disrespected my son. I won’t stand for that.”</p><p>Dream peered over the crowd, his mask turned slightly downwards. “I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.  I know for a fact that Tommy blew up the community house, but he has Tubbo on a leash so-”</p><p>“Oh shut up. Tommy didn’t blow up the community house,” I drawled. “I did.”</p><p>“I don’t even know what’s going on,” Dream said. “Why are you lying?”</p><p>“Am not lying. I just really felt like pissing you off. Got bored and shit.”</p><p>“But-” Dream started but Tommy interrupted him.</p><p>“I’m sorry this happened, Dream. The problem is, I can’t really punish a ghost if that is what you want me to do now. I would like to say that I was right and that Tommy did not do this. So I will not be punishing him for that.”</p><p>Tubbo walked forward and turned his attention to the public. “I understand that all of you are very upset. L’Manberg is supposed to be a place of joy and these walls are… a minor setback to say the least. Let us all unite with each other and try to find light in these, very dark times, literally.” He let out a dry chuckle. “I will get rid of these walls, that is a promise. It might take time, so I am asking all of you to be patient.”</p><p>Dream started speaking again but I tuned him out. Tubbo laid a gentle hand on my shoulder. “We need to talk,'' he whispered.</p><p>He led me away from the podium and we walked. We walked for long, we left L’Manberg and as soon as we got outside the walls the sudden light blinded me. Tubbo rubbed his eyes and kept walking. He didn’t even look behind him, I did and I saw the terrifying black structure of obsidian surrounding L’Manburg which went up so high I couldn’t even see the top of it. We walked in silence and soon the only sound to be heard was that of the soaring river, getting louder as we got closer.</p><p>Tubbo started his sentence a few times, but he never really got anything understandable out of his mouth.</p><p>“Just say it,” I said.</p><p>“Why did you blow up the community house?”</p><p>“I didn’t but the motherfucker was blaming Tommy for it,” I simply said.</p><p>Tubbo tilted his head. “You lied for Tommy?” </p><p>“I couldn’t care less about that moron, but you seem to.”</p><p>Tubbo bit his lip and stared at me for a bit. Then he ploffed on the ground and crossed his legs, plucking at the grass before him and throwing it into the river. Some of the grass got caught in the stream and floated away.</p><p>“Why did you bring me here?” </p><p>“This is where you abandoned me,” he said. “Sit down.”</p><p>I sat down. “Be honest. How terrible of a father was I?”</p><p>“I don’t know if I should answer that,” Tubbo said and he blew at some of the grass. “Why are you here? As in, why did you become a ghost?”</p><p>“I think,” I said and I plucked a dandelion. “I’m not really into that spiritual bullshit but I think it’s because of  you. I think I needed to help you with something.”</p><p>Tubbo stretched out his hands and I handed him the dandelion. He peered at it curiously. “Help me with what exactly?”</p><p>“Becoming a man?” I offered.</p><p>Tubbo chuckled. “I still feel like a little kid.” He held the dandelion and blew on it and its seeds flew away in the wind.</p><p>“What did you wish for?” </p><p>“I wished,” Tubbo said. “I wished I’d never found out that you were my father.”</p><p>“That bad huh?” I whistled.</p><p>“That bad,” Tubbo mumbled and he fell in on himself. He buried his head between his knees and one of his horns pointed into his leg in a way that must hurt. I heard him start sobbing.</p><p>“Don’t cry,” I said. </p><p>“Sorry,” he sobbed. </p><p>“I think I must somehow have done something right, because you are one of the best men I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. You do cry a lot, which is annoying, but besides that, you have done many great things. I don’t think you need me anymore.”</p><p>“I never asked for you,” Tubbo cried.</p><p>I looked at the stream of water and I felt something burning in my eyes. I always hated water. Hated the memories it made me recall, memories of Wilbur and holding onto him, memories of Tubbo and letting go. Memories of drowning. I felt like I was drowning now, with the sounds of the river buzzing through my ears. </p><p>“I’m proud of you,” I said but I didn’t sound like myself anymore. I whirled around to look at Tubbo. I wanted him to be the last thing I saw. I knew that, any moment knew I could fade and as I looked at the bursts of lights in my vision I knew it might be forever.</p><p>“Dad? What’s happening?”</p><p>“I’m sorry for abandoning you again. Maybe you should stay away from rivers in the future,” I said, my voices sounded faint and weak. I blinked and I expected him to say something, anything. Instead I heard a shrill voice behind me.</p><p>“Me perdonas?”</p><p>Oh. My. Fucking. God.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I don't really like that Schlatt slaps Dream, I think it's a bit lame but oh well.</p><p>I'm stuck at the station trying to get home from my girlfriend's so have some chapters I suppose?</p><p>Leave a kudos or comment if you enjoyed!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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